Weak 9

There is nothing to write about this week because The Fockers could not wrangle up enough women to play a game.  I told Mario to call Lou next time.

The week before nobody wrote on the blog.  That's because Chris and Jenny are no longer on THE TEAM and I struck out.  I have struck out 5 times in 115 games and I don't handle it well.  Yes, I know it makes me sound like some broken-hearted imbecile but all of the details of the game zoom right by I am left with a blizzard of f-words.

Here comes one now

F**K!

The Bombers are a fun team to play.  They are pretty good so it feels competitive but they can't seem to beat us.  Victory number six is always sweet because that sews up another winning season for THE TEAM.  We usually have some heroin after that one.

Now I will make some things up to add more words to this post

I did not strikeout in Game 8

Ha!

GO THE TEAM!!!

The Flappers

The Flappers do not take their softball seriously.  There is nothing wrong with that especially since they seem to be having a lot of fun.  The only thing more fun than that is sweet sweet victoy.  You have to give THE TEAM credit because beating any team 20-2 is something.  It's slow pitch.  There are going to be hits, there are going to be runs scored.

Here is what sucks:  I only have 18 runs on the stat sheet.  Somebdoy is getting hosed out of their RBIs.  I am going to imagine that it is Natasha that is not getting her due.  She has been a great player since joining THE TEAM and she is the only one who did not have an RBI in the game.  That just doesn't add up now does it.

THE TEAM batted a season high .667 with 3 Home Runs, 5 Doubles, A sweet freakin' Triple by Jad, 2 Walks and 2 strikouts.

Lou went 5 for 5 with 6 RBIs, 2 Home Runs and 2 Doubles so he gets a towel full of shaving foam crammed into his face. 

Jad went  3 for 5 with 2 RBIs and a shot down the left field line for that triple.  She also was powerful good at first base.  That must be the way they teach it where she's from.  ( She's from Oklahoma right?)  Let's dump a tub of Gatorade across her shoulders.

GO THE TEAM!!!

Giving it Away to Thee Rookies

Thee Rookies where a savvy bunch.  They knew what they were going to have to do to win.  But the truth is that THE TEAM gave that game away.  There were errors all over the place.  THE TEAM batted a season low .480 with only 2 doubles.

Yuck!

That one hurt and not just because Dave bled all over the place.  It was probably my least favorite game since that fucked up pitcher from The Jensen Warriors wanted to fight everybody a few seasons ago.  ( I think nobody remembers that.  There are a lot of new people on THE TEAM)

Anyway

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 5 - The Fockers

The games against The Fockers are always fun.  They are competitive and we usually win.  THE TEAM had some playes bail out late so we had to play short handed for the first time ever.  That meant Melody and Natasha were taking turns running from the outfield to the infield.   Lou did a great job pitching the whole game and everybody was hitting so the first round ends with THE TEAM 4-1 and hopeless in the tie-breaker.  At least The Burbank Chills did not benefit from their forfeit.  Blood and Spit will win the first round. 

Who cares about those assholes

Let's look at some first round leaders for THE TEAM

Batting Average Men:

Lou .875
Dave .750
Peter .722

Batting Average Ladies:

Natasha .786
Amy .444
Dora .357

RBIs Men:

Lou 16
Peter 14
Rick 12

RBIs Ladies:

Natasha 6
Jad 3
Melody 3
Dora 3

Doubles:

Lou (3)
Jad (3)
Natasha (3)
Peter (3)
Rick (2)
Dave (1)
Amy (1)
Doug (1)
Dora (1)

Triples:

Natasha (2)
Rick (1)
Doug (1)
Peter (1)

Home Runs:

Lou (5)
Peter (5)

It's true.  We sure don't suck

GO THE TEAM!!!

The Doubleheader

THE TEAM split a doubleheader.  It stings a little extra because if THE TEAM swept we would have won the first round no matter what happened in week 5.  Instead we are 3 and 1 and need some help.  Of course we are assuming that The Fockers did not beat the Burbank Chills in their second game.( The line from Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas was Burbank Chills - 11.5 with an over/under of 33) 

In the first game THE TEAM batted .533 with 4 Home Runs, 4 Doubles, 1 Triple, 8 Walks and 2 Strikouts.  That was a 19-15 win over The Bombers.  Lou and Peter hit 2 Home Runs each.  The towel filled with shaving foam goes into the face of Lou because he had 5 RBIs.  Dora went 1 for 2 with a double and 2 RBIs so she gets a tub of Gatorade dumped across her back. 

Game 2 had THE TEAM down early.  It was 11-5 after the first inning.  THE TEAM didn't score in the next two innings but neither did The Burbank Chills.  After that it all unraveled but there was a nice rally in the last inning that served to almost disguise the ass-kicking the THE TEAM absorbed.  Not really though.  THE TEAM batted .536 with 2 Home Runs, 4 Doubles, 2 Triples, 5 walks and a very attractive zero strikeouts.  Still it was 25-14 Burbank Chills.    

The line from Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas for THE TEAM winning a championship:   THE TEAM +110

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 1 - The Flappers

THE TEAM got to play an actual game instead of a cheap forfeit.  It's so much more fun to beat The Flappers 22-4 than it is to have Blood and Spit forfeit because they tried to borrow a loud-mouthed pile of hamburger from the Burbank Chills.

Anyway

The Flappers added some ladies who could play but it just didn't matter.  THE TEAM batted .632 with 2 Home Runs, 2 Triples, 6 Doubles, 7 Walks and only 1 strikeout.  Dave pitched 3 strong innings, Dora found the mark and did a great job fielding in her inning of pitching and then Lou slammed the door.  The Flappers never stood a chance.

Doug The Iron Gigante went 4 for 4 with a Triple and 3 RBIs.  Lou went 3 for 3 with a Home Run, a walk and 3 RBIs but the towel full of shaving foam goes to the face of  Peter who went 4 for 4 with a Home Run, 2 Doubles and 3 RBIs.

THE TEAM added a new player.  Natasha went 2 for 2 with a Triple, 2 RBIs and 2 Walks.  She gets a barrel full of Gatorade dumped across her back.

Everyone played a great game.

GO THE TEAM!!!  

Game 1 - Sort of

Blood and Spit could not field a team so that means victory.  Usually we like to speak in terms of "Sweet Sweet Victory" but we can only say Victory on a forfeit.

It was exciting to get our jersey numbers assigned

2 Sema
3 Lou
8 Jad
10 Melody
11 Dave
16 Beth
17 Amy
18 Rick
19 Doug
21 Randy
24 Peter
25 Dora

GO THE TEAM!!!