Tuesday, February 13, 2018

THE TEAM - The First Round of Winter 2018

The offense sure got it together for that last game.  THE TEAM hit .722 and scored 17 runs.  There were no strikeouts!  Lauren dragged her sick self to the game to go 4 for 4 with a Double and fried up a base runner with a perfect snap throw to first.  Dave hit his first Home Run of the season.  He should be shirtless, oiled and carrying the flag of Tonga for the next game.

The defense made a lot of errors so THE TEAM lost though.


That was the First Round.  Here are your leaders:

Batting Average Gentlemen

.941 Lou
.824 Peter
.769 Jimmy

Batting Average Ladies

.875 Lauren
.778 Dora
.750 Natasha

RBIs Gentlemen

19 Peter
11 Lou
11 Jack

RBIs Ladies

12 Natasha
 6 Kelly
 6 Dora


4 Lou
2 Natasha
2 Jimmy
2 Melody
2 Rick


2 Lou
1 Peter
1 Rick

Home Runs

3 Lou
2 Peter
2 Jack
1 Jimmy
1 Dave

Overall THE TEAM hit .656 with a +23 Run Differential.  THE TEAM did other stuff


Tuesday, February 6, 2018

It's True

Things are looking up for THE TEAM.  After The Sucks there was a 30 to 15 win against the LA River Yacht Club.  Get this: Jimmy and Jack both hit Grand Slams in that game.  

Are you out of your f**king kidding me?

It's true!

The next week THE TEAM swept a Doubleheader.  That hasn't happened in a while.  In the 20 to 17 win against The Ding Bats most of those runs happened on 2 out rallies so that's keen.  Katie Mae got her first hit of the season in that one.

Sweeping a Doubleheader would seen impossible without Jack and Lauren.  If Natasha is the Heart and Lou is the Hustle and Peter is the Brain then winning without Lauren and Jack is like winning without the endocrine system or something.

Natasha driving in 9 runs in the two games also helps cover for not having an endocrine system.

Hey here's something people seem to be curious about.  THE TEAM has been around forever.  This is how many seasons you have been around:

Lou - 30 Seasons
Rick - 30 Seasons
Peter - 28 Seasons
Melody - 22 Seasons
Dora - 20 Seasons
Natasha - 17 Seasons
Kelly - 13 Seasons
Dave - 12 Seasons
Jimmy - 8 Seasons
Lauren - 5 Seasons
Jack - 2 Seasons
Katie Mae - 1 Season 

That's 188 Seasons of highly charged softball experience.  No wonder THE TEAM is awesome


Thursday, January 18, 2018

Game 1 - This is the Sucks

Let's start the way we always start.  The roster.  Everybody knows that

 1 Katie Mae
 3 Lou
 4 Lauren
 5 Kelly
 6 Rick
 7 Natasha
22 Dave
23 Melody
24 Peter
25 Dora
33 Jimmy
38 Jack

That's an athletic and attractive group.  That's not the part that is the sucks.

Losing an E League game that THE TEAM should have won is the thing that is dragging this whole blog to a halt.

OK now that's out of the way.  Let's get on with it

THE TEAM hit .515 so that's good.  There is always some defensive razzle dazzle and that's something.  There is a lot of softball left to play so let's celebrate THE TEAM being around for 10 years by winning a championship.

It's true!  THE TEAM started in the Winter of 2008.  There are only two players that have been there for the whole thing.  A lot of people have come and gone.  It could be millions but who cares about them.  Let's focus on who is here now and having a great season.


Wednesday, January 10, 2018


It's not clear where we should start.  Do we acknowledge the new roster?  Do we mention the victory in the placement game?  There seems to be a lot of hostility where that team is concerned.  Maybe that one guy isn't there anymore.  He was a real class act.  Classy like pulling his gym shorts out of his ass before being seated at the Olive Garden and saying it is his birthday when it isn't his birthday.

Let's not do that.

The Fall Season was a brutal 2-8 deal.  It sounds like a roaring furnace of bad softball but really it was more like glowing coals of bad softball.

Here's what you did:

3 Lou played in 10 games. He hit .765 with 17 RBIs with 3 Walks, 4 Doubles, 2 Triples and 3 Home Runs.  He collected his 500th career hit making him the all-time leader for THE TEAM.  He deserves a medal.

4 Lauren played in 9 games.  She hit .379 with 5 RBIs.  She deserves a medal.

5 Kelly played in 10 games.  She hit .371 with 4 Walks giving her on OBP of .436.  She had 2 Triples and 4 RBIs.  She deserves a medal

7 Natasha played in 8 games.  She hit .480 with 2 Doubles and led the ladies with 9 RBIs.  She collected her 200th career hit.  She deserves a medal

15 Debbie played in 3 games and went 2 for 5 before vanishing and she does not deserve a medal

21 Miriam played in 5 games.  She hit .100 with an RBI.  She deserves a medal.

22 Dave played in 6 games.  He hit .438 with 2 RBIs,  He deserves a medal.

23 Melody played in 9 games.  She led the ladies hitting .583.  She had 6 Walks for an OBP of .667.  She had a Double and 2 RBIs.  She deserves a medal.

24 Peter played in 10 games.  He led THE TEAM hitting .778.  He led THE TEAM with 27 RBIs passing 400 RBIs for his career.  He had 2 Doubles, 3 Triples and 5 Home Runs.  Guess what he deserves.

25 Dora played in 9 games.  She hit .393 with 5 RBIs.  She deserves a medal.

33 Jimmy played in 10 games.  He hit .765 with 21 RBIs.  He had a Triple and a Home Run and led THE TEAM with 7 Doubles.  He deserves a medal.

38 Jack played in 9 games.  He hit .704 and led THE TEAM with 6 Home Runs.He had 2 Doubles and Triple and 23 RBIs.  He really went bananas in the second round.  AND he deserves a medal.

There you have it


Thursday, November 2, 2017

The Natasha Dynasty

So this blog has been aggressively ignored.  That means there is a lot of catching up to do with the things that have been in here over the past 28 seasons.  One of the things that keeps turning up in here is how awesome Natasha is as a player and a person.  She has always been great at having fun and still being competitive.  No one has done a better balancing act than her and that's a really good thing because it's her team now.  Let's welcome the new manager of THE TEAM.

Next up is the Roster.  It is as follows:

 3 Lou
 4 Lauren
 5 Kelly
 7 Natasha
15 Debbie
18 Rick
21 Miriam
22 Dave
23 Melody
24 Peter
25 Dora
33 Jimmy
38 Jack

Usually that is followed by some slice of optimism about how dangerous and athletic that group is but in a world so insane that somebody would pay $17,800,000 for Paul Newman's Rolex, THE TEAM was put in C League.

That was about as realistic as Chris Cuomo's teeth but let's keep moving.  Another thing that zoomed past was the leaders after the first round.

Here we go

Batting Average Gentlemen

.882 Peter
.813 Lou
.750 Jimmy

Batting Average Ladies

.647 Kelly
.417 Melody
.400 Debbie

RBIs Gentleman

14 Peter
13 Jimmy
 8 Lou

RBIs Ladies

2 Natasha
2 Kelly
1 Dora
1 Miriam


3 Jimmy
2 Lou
1 Melody
1 Jack
1 Rick


1 Peter
1 Jimmy
1 Kelly

Home Runs

4 Peter
3 Lou

Finally Kelly played in game 100.  She batted .500 with 62 RBIs, 16 Doubles and a Triple.  She was a child when she first joined THE TEAM.  Now she is an adult full of bad ideas and foul language.  Good job!

There are some other things that have taken shape as the season has chugged along but let's zip right past those and move straight into...


Tuesday, August 15, 2017

The Post Season

Dave's Grand Slam in the playoff game has to be in here.  That was awesome.  The Championship game was not awesome.  The real excitement was in the C League game before us.  It was 12 innings of cranky shitheads yelling and unable to break the tie.  It all ended on a blown interpretation of the rules so the umpires were probably pretty used up and cranky when it was time for THE TEAM to play.  THE TEAM made it easy on them by losing big so there was nothing to argue about.

Hello white t-shirts

THE TEAM has played in 14 Post Season games.  The overall record is 7-7 with three Championships.  Twenty four players have played in the Post Season.  Here are all the Post Season hits in the history of THE TEAM:

50 Peter
44 Lou
36 Rick
23 Natasha
22 Dora
21 Jimmy
20 Kelly
20 Dave R
19 Doug
17 Aerial
16 Victor
 7 Melody
 6 Lauren
 4 Daniyel
 3 Dave Q
 3 Randy
 3 Natalia
 2 Summer
 2 Mike
 2 Sharon
 1 Jenny
 1 Shelly
 0 Rosemary
 0 Kelsey

Not Bad

How about all-time Post Season RBIs!  Here's everybody

38 Peter
35 Lou
30 Victor
28 Rick
19 Doug
16 Jimmy
14 Dora
11 Dave R
10 Natasha
 9 Aerial
 7 Kelly
 6 Dave Q
 4 Daniyel
 2 Melody
 2 Lauren
 2 Randy
 1 Jenny
 1 Mike
 1 Natalia
 1 Shelly
 0 Rosemary
 0 Summer
 0 Sharon
 0 Kelsey


Tuesday, August 8, 2017

THE TEAM - Summer 2017

Another losing season is in the books.  It isn't that bad actually.  Most of the losses were from getting pushed around in C League by a bunch of homeboys and slobs and crybabies and Deluxe crybabies and misfits.  That didn't feel too terrific.


Here's your deal:

3 Lou played in 7 games.  He hit .667 with 11 RBIs.  He had 5 Doubles and 1 Home Run.  He led THE TEAM with 8 Triples.  That's a record.  He can play any position on the field and that's always valuable.

4 Lauren played in 8 games.  She led THE TEAM hitting .680.  We aren't talking about leading the ladies, we are talking about C4 leading THE TEAM.  She led the ladies with 7 RBIs and 2 Doubles and covered it all in Centerfield.

5 Kelly played in 9 games.  She hit .423 with 2 RBIs.  She had 6 Walks giving her and OBP of .531. She was great at first base an All-Star turning doubleplays at second.

7 Natasha played in 8 games.  She hit .458 with 6 RBIs and 2 Doubles.  She pitched lights out and is the perfect balance of competition and fun.  She is going to be a great manager.

11 Dave Q played in 5 games.  He hit .500 with 9 RBIs and 5 Doubles.  He made it look easy in Left Field

12 Daniyel played in 4 games.  She hit .111.  Not enough games to get her thing going.  All of Burbank knows you are better than that.

18 Rick 9 games .567 20 RBIs 1 Double 1 Triple 1 Home Run

22 Dave R played in 6 games.  He hit .353 with 5 RBIs.  He had a hit in every game he played in and did a great job pitching with that weird-assed backspin thing he does.

23 Melody played in 9 games.  She hit .421 with 5 RBIs.  She led THE TEAM with 7 Walks giving her an OBP of .577.  Good Eye Melody!

24 Peter played in 9 games.  He hit .647 with 14 RBIs.  He had 1 Double and led THE TEAM with 4 Home Runs.  He was an awesome Eagle Scout of a thirdbaseman.

25 Dora played in 8 games.  She hit .318 with 4 RBIs and 2 Doubles.  She caught foul tips and throws to home for something like 250 outs this season.

33 Jimmy played in 9 games.  He hit .656 with 14 RBIs.  He had a Home Run and led THE TEAM with 6 Doubles.  His arm is a freakin weapon.

51 Kesley played in 6 games.  She hit .059.  She's new and she's having fun while being appropriately hard on herself.  The hit she got was a real deal worm burner right up the middle.

So now let's eat a saltine cracker and drink some water and cleanse the palate of all that losing because a Championship is right around the corner.