Sunday, December 12, 2010

THE TEAM - Fall 10

That was a brutal season. Three wins and seven losses ends up being a lot less fun than winning. There certainly were some proud moments along the way and there was some great effort but clearly it was not enough 70% of the time. Let's look at some numbers. We are going to in numerical order.

#00 CJ played in 8 games. She batted .333 with 4 RBIs. She was reliable at first base and always hustled.

#3 Lou played in 7 games. He led THE TEAM with an .828 batting average. Lou had 14 RBIs, 4 Doubles, 2 Triples and 3 Home Runs. Lou was a wild man at short stop. I mean that in a good way

#4 Jenny played in 6 games. She batted .579 with 5 RBIs. She played everywhere we needed her including third base.

#7 Katina played in zero games. What the hell. Now I'm stuck with a #7 jersey.

#8 Peter C played in 5 games. He batted .100 with 4 RBIs. He was showing patience at the plate and improving in left field before it all went wrong.

#13 Sandy played in 7 games. She batted .381 with 2 RBIs. Sandy showed great speed and great hustle and improved every season she was with THE TEAM. Sandy will be missed.

#15 Robbin played in 8 games. She batted .217 with 4 RBIs. She also hit two doubles and was versatile in both the infield and the outfield.

#17 Jude played in 5 games. She batted .429 with 3 RBIs. She ran well and did all she could.

#18 Rick played in 10 games. She batted .706 with 17 RBIs 4 doubles and a triple. I know I called myself a "she". That was funny.

#24 Peter L. played in 10 games. He batted .725 and led THE TEAM with 24 RBIs. He also hit 6 doubles, a triple and 2 home runs. Peter was a rock solid infielder playing either third base or shortstop.

#27 Roma played in 8 games. She batted .000 but she did have an RBI on a bases loaded walk.

#28 Terrence played in 9 games. He batted .719 with 12 RBIs. He also had 5 doubles, 3 triples and a home run. If we kept track of runs scored Terrence would have led THE TEAM. He was so fast that if he was on base he was probably going to score.

#42 Sarah played in 9 games. She batted .323 and led the ladies with 7 RBIs. She also hit 3 doubles.

#99 Chris played in played in 6 games. He batted .810 with 7 RBIs. He also hit 3 doubles.

Here are some more numbers for THE TEAM.

We batted .527 with 104 RBIs 6 Home Runs 27 Doubles 7 Triples 39 Walks and 38 Strikeouts. Those numbers do not include Doug and Tiffany and Ken and one other lady whose name escapes me right now. Those are just the regular members of THE TEAM.

So now we rest and we enjoy the holidays and get ready to come back in January for the Winter 11 season. Let's keep trying and let's keep improving and let's keep trying. (Don't forget trying)


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Team - Game 8

The Team returned to triumphant form with a victory over Eye Catchers this past Sunday.  I forget what the final score was.  17-10 or something.

The pitcher for the Eye Catchers struggled to pitch strikes which The Team took advantage of to load the bases up for some of our power hitters.  They had a few good hitters on their team that consistently produced offense but couldn't quite overcome the number of walks we got along with our batters driving them in.

Everyone looked pretty good out there in the field so why not give free Jack in the Box tacos to everyone.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Moment it All Went to Hell - Game 6

Way back in the bad old days, THE TEAM would lose and lose by a lot and play terrible softball. We are back to losing but we aren't terrible. We hang around and play well and then it seems like whoever we are playing suddenly remembers that they have to hit if they plan on winning. We make our errors but we have seen some teams that can really get around on the ball. So it's the same old story this week. We were up 8-1 and then ended up losing 17-9. On Point exploded in the 5th inning and then THE TEAM stops hitting and it all goes to hell. We batted .469 with 5 strikeouts. That means we are 2-4. THE TEAM hasn't lost 4 games in a season since the Summer of 2009. We have been spoiled by all those 7-3 seasons.

Just because we suck doesn't mean there shouldn't be tacos.

Peter went 4 for 4 with a double and an RBI.

Jude went 1 for 2 with 2 RBIs. She actually went 1 for 3 but we'll count one of those at-bats as a sacrifice since she drove in a run. Either way, tacos for Jude.

These are microwave tacos though.


Sunday, October 17, 2010

THE TEAM - Going Back to Hell

THE TEAM is 2-3 for the first half of the season. This last loss was a lot like the first loss. We were in a game and then all of a sudden Victorious Secret started hitting home runs at will. In the end it was 22-13. That was quite the opposite of fun. All that wet weather was no help either. It's fun to play under the lights and it was nice to get a break from all the roasting we did playing the last two games but after a few innings of chasing a wet ball in wet shoes with a wet shirt it sure started to feel like hot cocoa time.

Yes well boo hoo. Let's distribute some tacos and review some stats for the first half. But first, speaking of boo hoo, I failed to award tacos for game 4. I was asked why there was no blog entry and I had to admit that I was still bummed about striking out in Game 4. Or maybe I was bummed because I had to delete all those pictures of my crank out of my phone (Thanks a lot Brett Favre). Either way I didn't talk about Game 4. That means Terrence got screwed out of the tacos he should have been awarded by hitting 4 RBIs with a triple and a home run.

As for Game 5 Lou and Peter both had 3 RBIs. They both hit doubles. Lou went 4 for 4 and Peter went 3 for 4 and had a triple. Lou did have a leaping catch on a line drive. Lou, share your tacos with Peter.

Robbin gets tacos by going 2 for 4 with 2 doubles and 3 RBIs. Robbin played with pain to have her best game so far.

Let's look at our stat leaders:

Batting Average Gentlemen:

Lou .867
Rick .824
Terrence .786

Batting Average Ladies:

Jenny .556
Sarah .429
Sandy .417
Jude .417

RBIs Gentlemen

Peter L 13
Rick 10
Lou 8

RBIs Ladies

CJ 3
Sarah 3
Robbin 3

Lou (2)
Robbin (2)
Rick (2)
Peter L (2)
Terrence (2)

Lou (2)

Home Runs

It's been a rough first half but lets keep hustling and lets keep improving. We can win the second half and still make it to the championship game.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Team - Game 4

So no one blogged about Game 4 against Fugettaboudit.  I'm not entirely sure I remember everything about it, but I do know that we lost by only one heartbreaking run.  It was pretty evenly matched and it sucks to lose in such a close fashion.  I don't know about anyone else on The Team but I take those losses a lot harder than getting blown out.  I think I tend to analyze it too much and blame myself -- 'If I didn't walk that one batter, he wouldn't have scored on the subsequent hit and that's the one-run difference right there.'  I know it's all a Team effort and you could just as easily say, 'If that person got on base' or 'If that if that if that.'  ENOUGH!

The Team did well and it was a tough loss.  But we're back in action tomorrow and will hopefully stomp a mudhole in Victorious Secret and walk it dry!


Monday, October 4, 2010

THE TEAM is Clutch

For the second week in a row THE TEAM wins on the last at-bat. The Eye Catchers had some pretty good players. They lost their first two games by a lot so it was a surprise to see that they could play. It was a back and forth game with THE TEAM up 12-8 going into the sixth. We gave up 5 so THE TEAM needed one to tie and 2 to win. Jenny drove in the run we needed to force the tie breaker.

It looked like big trouble when the Eye Catchers managed ten bases but Lou and Jenny both hit singles and Peter L cleared the bases for a total of 11 for THE TEAM.

Sweet Victory!

THE TEAM should be proud. We keep it together and come through when we need to.

Many tacos for Lou! He played out of position and pitched a great game. He also went 4 for 5 with two triples and and home run.

Jenny gets tacos for going 4 for 4 with the much needed RBI in the bottom of the sixth. She also showed heart and hustle in the tie-breaker.

Let's give a vegetarian taco to Peter C who was patient at the plate and had two RBIs on walks. Jude gets a vegetarian taco too for her first RBI of the season and her .600 batting average.


Sunday, October 3, 2010

A Shout Out to the Fans!

Today I have been thinking what a cool thing it is to have fans who consistently come to the games. I'm looking at you, Jen, Liz, Laura, Rick's Dad and Rick's kids! Last week (and even this week--and every week!) I wouldn't have come out to watch in the heat, and yet there they are, cheering for us as we go to bat and as we get the outs. Thank you all for your dedication to cheer on our team!!!

Monday, September 27, 2010

THE TEAM vs The Sun

OK actually THE TEAM played WP4B. This is a team that we have lost to on a regular basis. This is a team that uses the whole field when they hit. Terrence had the idea to spread out our defense instead of loading up for everything to go to the left and he was correct! We finally bear WP4B.

It was a really good game. They scored three runs and we scored five runs and they scored 3 more runs and we scored one run. It was back and forth. It was THE TEAM 9 and Will Play 4 Beer 11 in the bottom of the 6th. Peter drove in two to tie the game. Was it CJ who almost drove Peter in? They made a great play on that one to preserve the tie but THE TEAM was too much and we won 12-11.

Great game!

Peter went 4 for 4 with 5 RBIs including the two to tie it up in the bottom of the 5th but lets give the Tacos to Terrence for thinking ahead and planning for what it was going to take to finally beat those guys. Terrence also went 4 for 4 and scored four runs.

Jenny "The Weapon" did a great job at third but the Tacos go to Sarah who went 3 for 3 with an RBI.

We are all lucky to be alive after playing in that heat, but dehydration isn't so bad when you wash it down with sweet sweet victory.


Sunday, September 26, 2010

THE TEAM - Game 2

Congratulations to our entire The Team for not passing out in the 105 degree heat!  I'm glad we all survived and more importantly, we survived Will Play 4 Beer - one of the teams that beat us in pre-season.

It was a back and forth game but The Team pulled out a come from behind win.  We needed 2 runs to tie, and 3 to win going into the last inning.  Slowly but surely, we got people on base with solid hits and got the 2 runs we needed.  At the very least, we'd be forced into a tiebreaker but the bases were loaded when Rick came up to bat.  He hit a perfect line drive shot that brought Sarah in for the game winning run.

Rick is probably too modest to do so, but I'd give him Tacos for the day.  Then again, that's Rick's thing and I don't really close track of everyone's individual performances to fairly give out Tacos.  I'll name my award after another T something...let's call it the Thunderbird.  Rick is the Thunderbird for today's game for his game winning shot.

Our season now is 1-1 so let's keep the momentum going!  Go THE TEAM!!!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

THE TEAM - Game 1

It looks like a brutal loss. Well, 23-11 is a brutal loss but it was good effort by THE TEAM. The bad guys for week one were called On Point and they were pretty solid with the bats. The errors by THE TEAM were minimal. There were a few walks but a solid effort from Terrence and Robbin. On Point could hit so THE TEAM is 0-1 for the Fall 2010 Season so far.


When we were getting the package together for this season, the idea of changing the name of the THE TEAM came up. We were thinking of choices that involved the letter "T" so that we wouldn't have to get new jerseys. Names like The Tornadoes and The Termites were mentioned. My vote was a tip of the cap to Kurt Vonnegut. We should have been The Tralfamadorians. Obviously nothing became of that whole conversation but CJ had the idea that we could call ourselves Taco Tuesday. That's a great coed slow pitch softball team name.

Since we are still THE TEAM and since we want to acknowledge outstanding effort in this blog we are going to go with tacos.

Tacos for Sandy who went 3 for 3 with a walk. She also did a good job at second base.

Tacos for Peter who went 4 for 4 with 2 RBIs. He is picking up right were he left off last season when he led THE TEAM in RBIs.

It was a good game and it showed lots of promise. THE TEAM batted .543 with 4 walks so I'm sure we are going to go undefeated the rest of the season.


Monday, August 23, 2010

The Team - The Barbecue

Well, another The Team barbecue has come and gone and it was just as splendid as last year's. As always, a big thanks goes to co-manager Rick for organizing such a fine afternoon and an even bigger thanks to Rick's dad for opening up his pool to our hot bodies and his barbecue to our stomachs. It was nice to see those that came out of a Team uniform and relaxing in the sunshine. Thanks again, Rick and Rick's dad.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

THE TEAM - Summer 2010

So that was H League. We did not complete our mission but it was still a good game and a great season. Seven wins and three losses is a season we can all be proud of. The game itself was of the roller coaster variety. THE TEAM was down early 5-0. Dave drove in a run so it was something like 8-1. The point is that it was ugly. It seemed like the game was going fast. In the top of the sixth the score was Fugittaboudit 11 THE TEAM 6. THE TEAM came up with the runs including a three run home run by Dave. We held them to zero runs in the bottom of the sixth so hello tie breaker. We got 4 bases and Fugittaboudit got 5.

A scoop of ice cream in a Pink Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Jenny. She went 1 for 3 with a walk but she moved Dave over for two more bases in the tie breaker and she made a great catch in right field.

A scoop of ice cream in a Blue Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Dave who went 4 for 4 with a double and a home run and 4 RBIs. He also made a great catch in left field to end the game and force the tie breaker.

#00 CJ batted .321 with 5 RBIs and provided a valuable glove for THE TEAM at first base

#1 Destanie batted .609 with 14 RBIs. She was a great hitter and a smart player in the field. THE TEAM will miss her.

#2 Brooke did not play in a single game. What the hell is that?

#3 Lou batted .818 with 15 RBIs. He was a great lead-off hitter who could go to right and hit with power. And he is funny. He's like a comedian

#4 Jenny batted .750 with 5 RBIs. Jenny has always been a versatile weapon at game time. I think we should call her the weapon.

#11 Dave batted .778 with 12 RBIs. He was a great outfielder and a maniac on the base pads.

#13 Sandy batted .318 with 3 RBIs. She hustled and played hard and is the reason THE TEAM has kept going.

#15 Kristin batted .231 with 3 RBIs. Kristin improved a lot throughout the season. She worked hard and played hard.

#24 Peter batted .652 with 20 RBIs. He was rock solid at third base and a dangerous power hitter.

#28 Terrence batted .421 with 3 RBIs. Terrence contributed everywhere the season. He pitched, he played the infield and he played the outfield. That kind of versatility and flexibility is great to have. We should call him the weapon... oh wait, that's already taken.

#31 Victor batted .737 with 16 RBIs. Victor was awesome in left field and also the most enthusiastic about Gatorade or something. I'm not sure I really wasn't listening to him. Victor has been a great player for THE TEAM. It it a huge loss that he will not be with us next season

#42 Lisa only played in one game. She batted .333 with 1 RBI but that was an awesome RBI. Actually I don't remember it.

#99 Chris batted .500 with 6 RBIs but it was his pitching that really kept us in the winning column. He strikes people out in slow pitch softball. Who does that!

We have to thank our ringers too. Sarah and Marisol and Katina were there for us so that we did not forfeit. You batting average sucked though.

Next season I am going to assign the blog to one of the players. We'll call it out in the 6th inning


Monday, July 26, 2010

THE TEAM - The Stats

The Warriors must really be afraid of us because once again they completely failed to show up for their game. This isn't a case of a team not having enough people, this is a case of nobody showing up. They probably stay out of Burbank altogether.

So instead of a boring game recap, we will have a boring look at our stats so far.

THE TEAM has 129 hits in 235 at-bats. That's a .549 average. We have hit 10 home runs and had 104 RBIs. We have hit 19 doubles and 8 triples. We have walked 41 times and struck out 14 times (You know who you are!).

The Batting Average Leaders are as follows. The number in parenthesis indicates how many games they have played.


Lou (6) .818
Victor (6) .737
Dave (5) .714


Jenny (4) .800
Destanie(6) .609
Sandy (5) .389

RBI Leaders


Peter (7) 19
Victor (6) 16
Lou (6) 12


Destanie (6) 14
CJ (7) 5
Jenny (4) 4


Lou - 5
Victor - 4
Dave - 2
Rick - 2
Destanie - 1
Jenny - 1
Kristin - 1
Peter - 1
Terrence - 1


Terrence - 2
Lou - 2
Victor - 2
Kristin - 1
Rick - 1

Home Runs

Peter - 4
Victor - 3
Lou - 2
Dave - 1

It would be nice if there were some pitching stats on here to acknowledge Chris and Terrence but I only have one clipboard.

Good job everyone


Monday, July 19, 2010

THE TEAM - The Moment it All Went Back to Hell

That was a tough loss. Our defense has been so strong all season but not last Sunday. We gave up 14 runs in two innings and couldn't make it back from that. It sucks a little extra because we found our groove and didn't allow any more runs after those 14 but we batted a season low .469 for the game so bitter defeat was ours to choke on.

That means we are 6-2 overall and 2-1 in the second half of the season. I tried to look and see what the Riverside Cafe 86ers record was but the Burbank website was showing us Women's Fastpitch standings from Fall 2009. What bunch of idiots. So we get to guess whether or not our post season championship fantasy went straight to hell on Sunday.

A scoop of ice cream in a Blue Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Chris who went 3 for 3 with 4 RBIs. In one game he added 156 points to his batting average. He also made two sweet plays for outs at home plate.

A scoop of ice cream in a Pink Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Kristin. She went 1 for 2 but found the patience to draw her first two walks of the season and had no strikeouts.

Overall it was a tough loss. And now we don't even know if anybody is going to turn in the enrollment package for fall season.



Monday, July 12, 2010

THE TEAM offical winning season

That was our sixth win of the season so even if we mail it in and tank our last three games we will have our third straight winning season. Yes!

It was nice to beat the Jensen Warriors. It would have been a little sweeter if that horrible little tub of goo that they had for a pitcher was there. My hope is that they kicked her off the team for being an inappropriate pain the a**. Or that she is dead (OK, perhaps that's a little strong. I just hope that she isn't somewhere thinking that they could have beat us if she was there.)

But enough about those clowns. Let's talk about THE TEAM. THE TEAM scored 12 runs. We batted .516 with a home run and 8 walks. THE TEAM defense has been pretty tight this season. We allowed only 4 runs this week. The only time we have allowed a team to score in the double digits was the one time that Chris and Terrence were not there to pitch. Good job THE TEAM!!!

As far as the scoop of ice cream goes, I was doing some math. If we have ten games and there are two scoops a game, that means there are 20 scoops of ice cream to be awarded throughout the season. There are only 15 people on THE TEAM and two of them have played zero games. That means a player can win twice so all of that coarse language was never necessary. Although "screw you Victor" can still stand for so many other reasons.

Speaking of Victor, he went 3 for 3 with 3 doubles and 2 RBIs. He is batting .727 for the season now. But screw you Victor (I knew that would come in handy) The scoop of ice cream in the Blue Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Peter who went 2 for 2 with a walk, a home run and 5 RBIs. Peter is leading THE TEAM with 19 RBIs on the season.

A scoop if ice cream in a Pink Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Destanie who went 3 for 3 with a walk and raised her season average to .609. Share the ice cream with Victor please.

We got hosed with a two out inning in the first but it just didn't matter. THE TEAM was focused and would not be stopped. Let's keep this train rolling to an H League Championship.


Sunday, June 27, 2010

H League Part 6 or Part 2 Vol. 1

Or whatever.

THE TEAM only managed 11 runs this week. In the four games that we have actually played (not including the forfeit) we have been averaging 17.5 a game. Our defense was awesome and our pitching was awesome and we held Los Dodgers to only two runs so 11 runs was plenty.

That last time we saw Los Dodgers they were a brand new team with a lot to learn about the dog eat dog world of Coed Softball. They clearly have been learning because they made some great plays. They also issued zero walks. That's a first for THE TEAM.

THE TEAM batted .537 with no walks and no home runs. That brings our season batting average to .583. Who gives a s**t about that, let's hand out some fake ice cream.

Victor went 3 for 3 with a double and a triple and 2 RBIs but Victor already got his scoop of ice cream in Game 3. He gets the same "screw you" that Lou had to absorb last week. I went 2 for 3 with a double and 3 RBIs but I can't go with the giant a(dash)hole move of patting myself on the back like that.

A scoop of ice cream in a Blue Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Dave who went 3 for 3 with an RBI. This raises his batting average to .889 which leads THE TEAM.

Destanie went 3 for 5 with 3 RBIs but she already got a scoop of ice cream in Game 5. She gets the same "screw you" that Victor had to absorb just a couple of sentences ago. (Rough week for the Garcias, well for three of them anyway)

CJ went 2 for 5 and Kristin hit a double but A scoop of ice cream in a Pink Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Sarah for her triumphant return as Amberle. She helped us to not forfeit and she picked up right where she left off with those nice line drives to go 3 for 5.


Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Bell of Victory

Even though I haven't been able to play with you all for a little bit now, I'm there in spirit. Here is a picture of me and the Bell of Dana at the Nishi Hongwanji Temple in downtown LA. I'm going to ring this bell when we win. Well, not really, but I'll think about it.

"The large bell, called Bonsho in Japanese, weighs 2,500 pounds, is three feet two inches in diameter and four feet six inches high. It sits in a bell tower that has a base twenty feet by twenty feet and a total elevation of seventeen feet."

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

"H" League as in "H"ome - Game 5

We finished the first round of H League 4-1. Naturally that means we are in 3rd place. Salem Heat took first place so they are on their way to playing the second half of their season in G League. Yes we just beat them up 17-6 but there is some kind of weird tie breaker in place that I am not going to bother to understand. It looks like this:

Salem Heat (4-1) beat the Jensen Warriors - lost to THE TEAM
Jensen Warriors (4-1) beat THE TEAM - lost to Salem Heat
THE TEAM (4-1) beat Salem Heat - lost to Jensen Warriors

It feels a little like we got screwed but I guess somebody was going to have to be Texas and somebody was going to have to be Oklahoma. (That probably only made sense to three people on THE TEAM but it has to do with the Big XXII championship... who cares)

THE TEAM batted only .484 with 9 walks in game five. That is by far our worst collective effort at the plate this year. Lucky for THE TEAM the players that were hitting were really hitting.

That means a scoop of ice cream in a Pink Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Destanie. She went 4 for 5 with 5 RBIs. Clearly she is hitting for two.

Lou went 4 for 4 with 3 doubles and 3 RBIs but he already had a scoop of ice cream and this award needs to be spread around so screw you Lou. (Maybe that was too rough, all I'm saying is that it was a great game but once you get the award you cannot win it again. Although CJ split one and was awarded another one but... you know what I'm going to stick with screw you Lou)

Chris gets the scoop if ice cream in the Blue Milton Bradley mini-helmet. He had a rough inning right toward the end but he is Mr. Reliable when he is pitching.


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

"H" as in where the "H"ell is the other team

The Warriors completely failed to show up. It counts as a victory which is nice because we ended up spending the evening getting stomped by the Maeves Residuals. Because there is no game to examine and review and criticize, lets get into our stats for the three games that we have actually played.

Here are the batting average leaders (The number in parenthesis is how many games they have played.)

Lou (2) .889
Rick (3) .857
Dave(2) .833

Jenny (2) 1.000
Sandy (3) .500
CJ (3) .444


Peter (3) 11
Victor (3) 9
Lou (2) 8

CJ (3) 5
Destanie (3) 4
Sandy (3) 3

Doubles - Lou, Dave, Jenny, Rick, Peter

Triples - Lou, Kristin, Rick, Terrence, Victor

Somehwere in there I'm sure that Chris and Terrence have combined for between 75 and 100 strikouts but I haven't kept those statistics.


Sunday, June 6, 2010

H2 - Game 3

THE TEAM rolled on to sweet victory. What this will mean as far as H League Standings is a complete mystery. The Burbank Park and Rec website does not even include G Leage in its posted standings. Talk about second class citizens. We were first class all the way for Game 3 though. The Riverside Cafe 86ers were given the mercy option. It was decided, after some boo hooing, that we would keep playing. The umpire didn't even could Victor's last RBI on the official scorecard. I can't imagine what Victor would have done to him if he knew that.

So the final score was officially 21-9 but we had 22 RBIs . THE TEAM batted .667 for the game. That is something we can all be proud of.

Dave went 3 for 3 with a home run and 5 RBIs. (We will not count his last at-bat after the mercy because he was encouraged by the umpire to give the 86ers their last chances at the plate)

Peter went 4 for 4 with a home run and 3 RBIs but the scoop of ice cream in the blue Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Victor who went 4 for 4 with two home runs, a triple, and seven RBIs.

Sandy has maintained her .500 average and added an RBI to her total.

Kristin went 2 for 4 with a triple and an RBI.

Jenny is actually batting 1.000 for the season

But the scoop if ice cream in the pink Milton Bradley mini- Helmet goes to CJ with the bad knee who played through the pain to go 2 for 4 with 3 RBIs.


Sunday, May 23, 2010

Preparation H League - Game 2

That was a tough loss. The Jensen Warriors are a terrible team with a serious grouch for a pitcher. We normally destroy them but THE TEAM had an alarming lack of pitchers this week. CJ and Peter and Lou did their best and we kept it close but clearly it was all too much.

So we are 1 and 1 so far this season. It looks like they made the right choice when they put us in H League.

But enough gloom and doom. Let's look at some numbers and award some fake ice cream. THE TEAM scored 11 runs and batted .556 so that's a positive. Four of our 15 hits were for extra bases.

A scoop of ice cream in a blue Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Lou who went 3 for 4 with a home run and two RBIs. His home run was extra sweet because it came after their pitcher was complaining about calls to the umpire.

A scoop of ice cream in a pink Milton Bradley mini-helmet goes to Sandy who also went 3 for 4 with 2 RBIs. Sandy has clearly come to play for Summer 2010. She is batting .500 with 2 RBIs so far this season.


Look out


Sunday, May 16, 2010

Putting the Hell in H League - Game 1

That title doesn't exactly make sense but who cares. The Summer Season got off to a great start with a 21-5 stomping of Los Dodgers. They should have called themselves Los Orioles. Actually let me take that back. They were a nice bunch of people who did not have a lot of softball experience so making fun of them here just seems like something Victor would do.

Let's take a moment and toot our own horns though. The lopsided score was not a case of THE TEAM cashing in on another teams horrible errors. THE TEAM played a game we can be proud of. We hit .588 with two home runs and 9 walks. Our defense was strong and our signage was first class. There was lots of hustle going on out there.

As far as a mythical award to acknowledge the outstanding players of the game goes, I received exactly zero suggestions. Thanks for all your help you bums.

Let's go with a scoop of ice cream in a Blue Milton Bradley mini-helmet. Lou went 5 for 5 with 6 RBIs but it has to go to Peter who hit two home runs and had seven RBIs.

The scoop of ice cream in a Pink Milton Bradley mini-helmet is another close call. Jenny went 2 for 2 with two walks and and 1 RBI but CJ went 2 for 2 with 2 walks and 2 RBIs. Hey that's too close to call, Jenny and CJ both win. (It's not like I have to come with any actual ice cream)

It was a good game by all even if Lisa was limping through it. We can look forward to going undefeated in the first half and getting the hell out of H League.


Monday, May 10, 2010

THE TEAM - The Simulated Stomping

THE TEAM played it's second practice game and once again it was a pounding. It was at the hands of a team that we would never see in G League so we certainly have nothing to be ashamed of. We played well. We batted .516 as a team with two walks and two home runs. Although this time we may or may not have been the most attractive team on the field. THE TEAM is certainly a dazzling bunch and I know we all strive for a Falcon Theatre level of good looking. Maybe this is the season for us to accomplish that.

Anyway, what the hell was that all about

We have to think of an award to give to to the outstanding players of the game along the lines of the VGITPOSA and the Jeffrey and the Maude. Does anybody have any ideas? Seriously you bunch of deadbeats. This isn't my blog. This blog belongs to THE TEAM. Anyone?

If we had such award to acknowledge in this space it would go to Peter. Lou went 3 for 3 with a Home Run and Terrence went 3 for 3 and Chris went 3 for 3 but Peter made some great plays in the field. ( On top pf going 2 for 3 with a Home Run).

Brooke also went 2 for 3 so she is awarded the mythical bottle of Gatorade.

It's nice to have reliable statistics to reflect on but keeping them sure was the opposite of fun.

Well practice is over and the summer season will start next week. The diamonds of Burbank will run red with the blood of our enemies. (Too much?)


Sunday, May 2, 2010

THE TEAM - The Scrimmage

Let's not call that a game. It really wasn't. It was a chance to welcome some new players and see that Brooke can run very fast and Kristin has good insticts for softball. It was a chance to see CJ and Lou pitch. It was a chance for Dave to shake the rust off. The team we were playing against were either an F League team or the Arizoan State Sun Devils. They scored on us many times and held us to a modest five runs.


I thought the afternoon was full of promise and look forward to going undefeated.

We were clearly the more attractive team. That's something to build on.


Monday, April 26, 2010

THE TEAM - The wrong color T-Shirt

Of course the T-shirts were the right color. We lost. It was a good game and WP4B were sportsmen about it. THE TEAM fell behind early 5-0. Then THE TEAM tied the game. Then the alcoholics scored six more runs and we scored three more runs and they scored seven more runs and we scored zero more runs and we ended up with the box of white t-shirts. We also received a very attractive plaque that that should probably rotate with each player once a week. I will pass that along as soon as I wipe my tears off of it.

There was a lot in the last post about how much we have improved so there is no need to get back into all of that.

Here is an enchanting detail about the game: Lou took a groundball right off the kisser and then started making strong plays from SS. Chris took a shot right off his shin that turned many colors right before our eyes. Right after that he caught a line drive and doubled up the runner off first. We probably all should have bounced a ball off of our heads and rode that agony to victory and a more attractive box of T-shirts.

It was a marathon of a season with all those rainouts. But in the end

00 CJ (Cucumber)
1 Destanie
3 Lou
4 Jenny
11 Dave
12 Lillian
13 Sandy
16 Anabel
18 Rick
24 Peter
28 Terrence
31 Victor
41 Rob
42 Sarah
99 Chris

Are all inductees into THE TEAM Hall of Fame. Your images will be carved into the back of our plaque for subsequent generations to admire.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Game 9 and Game 10

THE TEAM has certainly come a long way. The Winter 2010 season is the sixth season that THE TEAM has been together. We have had members come and go but we have always managed to suck. Here is how it breaks down:

Winter 2008 2 wins 8 losses
Summer 2008 3 wins 7 losses
Fall 2008 2 wins 8 losses
Summer 2009 3 wins 7 losses

That's 10 wins and 30 losses in four seasons. That's a .250 winning percentage. That sucks!

Last season seemed like a miracle when we went 7-3 and missed the championship by one game. Those 7 wins were more than any two seasons total wins combined. That made us 17 and 33 which is a .340 winning percentage. OK that still sucks but the point is that we have improved and played hard and had fun.

Once again we have gone 7-3 only this time we get to play for the G League Championship.

As far as Game 9 and Game 10 go, it is hard to collect all the details and acknowledge everybody after a doubleheader. Here are some scattered recollections:

00 CJ brought oranges, a Manny Ramirez wig and and her flawless glove to help THE TEAM win both games.

1 Destanie was hard on herself. Destanie clearly places a high expectation on herself but she knows the game and is an MVP level performer at the plate and in the field. Don't argue with me Mrs. Garcia.

3 Lou was a perfect lead off hitter. He was able to go to right when he wanted and he covers lots of ground and SS.

4 Jenny was Magic Johnson for Game 9 and Game 10. She played C 1B 2B RF and ROV. Having a versatile and reliable player like that on THE TEAM helps get you to the Championship game.

13 Sandy had great shot into left to get and RBI in Game 9 and made a great catch in Right Field in Game 10.

16 Anabel probably has a decent batting average but a spectacular on base percentage. (I don't have any actual numbers to back that up. Who on earth would keep track of their batting average in a Coed Slow Pitch Softball League) Anabel is patient at the plate so she can draw walks and she runs hard when she hits.

24 Peter hit a home run and was robbed of another one

28 Terrence pitched well and made a great play in left on one of the those brutal line drives that can become home runs for the bad guys very easily.

31 Victor hit a home run in both games. These were not fly balls followed by a bunch of clumsy errors that would allow Victor to come all the way home. We are talking about legitimate home runs. Victor talked a lot but I wasn't listening and then he tried to destroy me.

42 Sarah drove in runs and scored runs. She made the last out in the last game catching a foul ball from her spot behind the plate.

99 Chris was his usual rock solid self pitching. He walked in a run but he didn't come unglued. Sometimes you see some of these pitchers lose the strike zone and they never get it back but not The Crippler. He keeps it together and is also a great fielder from his pitchers spot.

I felt like I hit pretty well but in the field it was like I was doing every fucking thing possible to blow the games. Sorry about that. We all make our errors but I tanked so hard last Sunday I pulled myself out of the game. I could have made better throws with my left hand. In Game 10 Lou drove me in with Sandy behind me. When I crossed the plate I tried to pick up the bat so Sandy wouldn't have to worry about tripping on it. I missed that too. I thank all of you for your patience. I'm so glad my Dad wasn't there to see that.

Oh, I guess the whole Big Lebowski theme went the way of the dodo. Oh well, Nobody reads this bullshit anyway. (I know THE TEAM reads this blog, I think I just wanted to work the phrase "bullshit" in there somewhere)

On to the G League Championship Game and Sweet Victory


Sunday, April 11, 2010

Game 8 - Nobody F**ks with the Jesus

That had to me my least favorite game in the entire history of THE TEAM. There was all that childish tension in the air because their bowling ball of a pitcher was looking for a fight. Many members of THE TEAM sounded like they were ready to roll around in the dirt too. The umpire did not give The Jensen Warriors the option to play beyond the mercy rule because he recognized a deteriorating situation and just stopped the game.

That's a drag because THE TEAM was playing well. We were hitting well, we were keeping the errors minimal and Chris was pitching a solid game.

Well, at least that makes win number five so we cannot have a losing season.

Victor was feeling cheated because a great catch he made a few games ago was not acknowledged in this blog. I spend a lot of time wishing Victor was gifted with the ability to keep quiet for a moment but I have to agree with him on that. That should have been in there somewhere. He was solid and error free for game 8 but, in keeping with the Lebowski theme I would just like to tell him "Shut the f**k up Donny"

Didn't Victor hit a home run too? We will name him Game 8 Jeffrey. Game 8 Maude will go to CJ for not choking anybody when she was accused of doing just that, and for not choking anybody when she probably should have. (I'm talking about their mad doggin' pitcher)


Monday, March 29, 2010

Game 7

Dammit. We lost a close one on Sunday afternoon against The Bombers who, in reality, should have been called The Complainers. First, they strolled onto the field at about 3:37 PM (PST) when The Umpire had been calling for them to take the field since 3:30 sharp. Second, they complained about at least two calls the umpire made in our favor. One of them happened when I walked a girl in and she didn't touch homeplate, which sharp-eyed Sarah noticed. Sarah asked me to toss the ball to her, stepped on the plate and we got out #2 of the inning. This really ticked off their manager and the girl, who was just shy of asking for a CSI to come examine the bottom of her shoe to compare it to a mark on homeplate.

I digress. It was a pretty close game. There were no clear cut mistakes that led to our downfall, but since I write this post, I'll blame my pitching and the fact that I gave up a few walks. We had a chance to win it in the last inning but just couldn't pull it through.

Final score: The Bombers The Complainers 11, THE TEAM 10

Well, at least we showed up on time and we didn't complain about things. :)

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Game 6 - This Aggresion Will Not Stand, Man

It sure was great to play an actual game again. It was also great to see THE TEAM hit the field completely rust free after such a long layoff. #1 Destanie found her stroke and scored some runs. #00 CJ was still catching everything at first base. #42 Sarah was driving in the runs like she always does and #13 Sandy played through pain of a bad finger to get her base hits. Game 6 Maude has to be #16 Anabel who blew up at the plate by going 3 for 4.

All the dudes on THE TEAM were hitting. #41 Rob was covering ground in CF after doing a great job pitching the first inning. #24 Peter and #3 Lou were driving in the runs and playing mistake free in the infield. Game 6 Jeffrey is #28 Terrence for pitching six innings and hitting a home run.

THE TEAM 16 Fugittaboudit 6

Sweet Victory


Sunday, March 14, 2010


After a five (?) week hiatus, it would have been nice to know we weren't playing a softball game sometime before we ALL SHOWED UP TO PLAY A SOFTBALL GAME. No one from the Jensen Cupcakes told us they weren't going to play. And apparently, they didn't tell that one guy who did show up. So sad.

Although, my pitching felt incredibly "off" so maybe it's a good thing we didn't play today. I heard that the next game is next Sunday. Maybe.

Friday, March 5, 2010

#12 Lillian

This is how I will always think of Lillian.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

We talkin' 'bout practice.

Captain Sandy does not believe THE TEAM is going to get to play all ten of its games. It looks like the games that were supposed to be made up today were also rained out. But who cares about that. THE TEAM got in a good practice today with CJ, Destanie, Lou, Sandy, Peter, Rob, Victor, Sarah, Terrence, Chris and Doug (He is not on THE TEAM). There was a round of hitting and then there was a split squad game of 6 on 6. For those who failed to attend, you missed a non-stop display of awesome. Seriously. No, seriously


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Game 3 and Game 4. Eight year olds, Dude

That was a lot of softball in a single day. It was not a lot of runs though. Twelve runs in two games is a little below the recently elevated standards of THE TEAM. We have elevated standards don't we? So THE TEAM is 2-2 so far for the Winter 2010 Season. It has been a week so I am going to skip the Jeffs and the Maudes. It was kind of a hectic day and nobody reads this bullshit anyway.

Superbowl week = no games. Valentine's Day = no games. February 21st is the make up date for a game we already played so there is a suspension of continuity in these posts. But nobody reads this bullshit anyway.

Man I want to play softball


Monday, January 18, 2010

Game 2 - The royal "we", you know, the editorial...

There is something about the 5th inning. We had the Bombers at 2 runs and then in the 5th inning the bad guys start hitting. So it was 16 to 9 by the time the time we cashed in the third out there and then Mr. Umpire gave them there next three outs right away. That seemed fishy to me but in the end it completely did not matter. It was 16-10. THE TEAM wins

Condolences! The bums lost!

Lou had a grand slam and that is Jeffrey worthy but Terrence had something like four strikouts and around two walks so Terrence gets the Game 2 Jeffrey.

THE TEAM was operating with the minimum as far as women go. Sarah, CJ, Anabel and Sandy all had great games so it's hard to choose. Lets welcome Anabel and acknowledge her high OBP and cracking the code on keeping the ball in front of her by naming her Game 2 Maude.


Sunday, January 10, 2010

Game 1 - You want a toe? I can get you a toe!

The mad dash for Winter 2010 theme landed on The Big Lebowski. I hope everybody saw it.

THE TEAM came out hitting and beat Fugittaboudit 22-16. Terrence did an outstanding job pitching. Peter made a great play on a line drive and Lou climbed the ladder to steal a base hit.

THE TEAM allowed two runs in the first and then got 6 runs back. After that everybody was hitting like crazy. It was a thing of beauty. Well, OK maybe "beauty" is a strong word, but the point is that we were hitting well and often and piling up the runs. By the 5th inning it was 18-2 and then Fugittaboudit remembered how to hit. There were only a couple of errors by THE TEAM, they got their ten runs in the inning with a lot of good hits. In the 6th THE TEAM and Fugittaboudit both scored four more runs.

Sweet Victory

Far F**kin' Out

What I had in mind as far as acknowledging the efforts of THE TEAM was to award both a lady and a gentleman something silly along the lines of the VGITPOSA. In keeping with The Big Lebowski I thought the outstanding male player could be The Dude and the outstanding female could be Maude Lebowski. Of course Maude Lebowski is not exactly a sunshiney protagonist but she is better than Bunny (Compulsive fornicator!). Let's go with Jeffrey and Maude. (Unless somebody has a better idea)

Victor hit a home run and, if memory serves, Peter hit one too but Game 1 Jeffrey is Dave for hitting a grand slam.

Sarah continued the RBI express but Game 1 Maude is Sandy for the hitting the RBI and scoring runs once she was on base.


Sunday, January 3, 2010

We talkin' 'bout practice.

Many members of THE TEAM showed up to take advantage of having use of the diamond even though there would be no actual game. (Will Play 4 Beer forfeited)

So it looks like CJ and Lillian and Sandy and Sarah are already in mid-season form.

Terrence and Dave were great at the plate and in the field. There was a solid contribution from THE TEAM alumni John.

The line fron Caesars Palace in Las Vegas has an over/under of 7.5 wins for THE TEAM 2010 winter season.