Monday, December 12, 2011

THE TEAM - Fall 2011

Wasn't that fun!!! The championship proved slippery but THE TEAM took second place in the first round and second place in the second round with an overall record of 7 and 3.

That last game was a good one. The only time Smash has beat THE TEAM it involved an umpire who was too busy explaining rules rather doing arithmatic. Not this time. Amy went 2 for 4 with a triple and 2 RBIs. Lou went 5 for 5 with a Home Run and 4 RBIs. Chris went 4 for 4 with 4RBIs. Peter went 4 for 5 with 4 RBIs. Smash never stood a chance. Overall THE TEAM batted .610 with 1 Home Run, 6 Doubles, 1 Triple, 2 Walks and ZERO strikouts. Sweet sweet victory, we meet again. We've missed you so.

Here is how you did this season:

2 Katie played in 4 games. She batted .556 with 4RBIs and two triples. She also showed a serious arm in the outfield

3 Lou played in 9 games. He batted .882 to lead THE TEAM. He hit at least one Home Run in every game for a total of 12 which also led THE TEAM. He had 24 RBIs, 7 Doubles, 2 Triples and a walk. He pitched. He made jokes. Crazy!!!

4 Jenny batted for two in 6 games and finished the season at .313 with 4 RBIs, 3 walks and on OBP of .421. Jenny started THE TEAM back in the Winter of 2008. Now she is leaving. Her versatility is a huge loss for THE TEAM. So is her sweater

8 Jad improved every week in her 8 games at first base. She batted .360 with 3 RBIs, 3 walks and an OBP of .429. She also brought contagious energy to THE TEAM and you can't have enough of that.

10 Melody lead off for the women by batting .462 with a .563 OBP in 8 games. She had 6 RBIs, 2 Doubles and 6 walks. She did a great job and second base and was a great base runner. She also kept her language clean

15 Dora batted .467 with 7 RBIs and a double in 9 games. Dora never struck out which is awesome.

16 Beth played in 5 games. She batted .333 with an RBI and a walk. She also had the sweetest footwear on THE TEAM.

17 Amy was unbridled athleticsm for 9 games where she batted .444 with an OBP of .531. She had 6 RBIs, 2 Doubles, 1 Triple and 5 walks. She also had boundless energy and seemed to be having more fun than anybody else on THE TEAM.

18 Rick batted .636 with 8 RBIs in 7 games and tried to pay attention the whole time

19 Doug flew around the outfield for 9 games and batted .519 with 10 RBIs 2 Doubles and a walk. He led THE TEAM in rolling around in the grass.

24 Peter torched it up in 9 games. He had 23 consecutive hits and finished the season batting .879. He had 8 Home Runs, 6 Doubles, 1 Triple and 2 walks. He led THE TEAM with 31 RBIs and was an outstanding infielder.

25 Andrew played in 5 games. They were a powerful five games with a .786 average, 13 RBIs, 2 Home Runs, 2 Triples and 2 walks.

38 Michelle is actually on THE TEAM. Did you know that? She played in zero games and batted zero with zero RBIs. She had zero strikeouts so she can build on that when she comes back next season.

99 Chris played in 8 games. He batted .708 with 8 RBIs, 3 Doubles and 3 walks. All 17 of his hits were pure line drives. He did a great job pitching and was out of this world fielding from the pitchers spot.

There has to be a tip of the hat to 27 Randy for coaching third base for THE TEAM and playing when he was needed.

There has to be a tip of the hat to Gavin for taking all those fantastic pictures. It's nice to have our season documented by someone that talented.

Everone did a great job. Everyone playing hard and had fun. Best of all everybody supported each other and stayed positive which is why you would join a team at all.

Great Season


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

THE TEAM - The Forfeit

There were not enough Flappers for a game so THE TEAM backed into victory number six for the season. It was not the way you want to end a two game losing streak but let's not worry about that. We always celebrate with some heroin after win number six because win or lose next week, we will have a winning season.

There was a game-type function on Sunday because some of the members of Hold The Pickles stuck around to fill out the roster for The Flappers. We won that for real. There were no statistics kept because it was not an official game but if memory serves, THE TEAM batted 1.000 with 28 Home Runs 17 Triples 19 Doubles 2 Walks and 0 Strikeouts. Thank You Randy and Katina for helping out. Good Job!

My memory might be fuzzy on some of those stats but I have learned never to doubt Chris.


Sunday, November 13, 2011

THE TEAM - The slump

That's two losses in a row for THE TEAM. If we want blue t-shirts we are going to have to buy them ourselves. I'm sure The Fockers are quite pleased with themselves considering this is the first time they have managed to beat THE TEAM.

Screw those guys!

THE TEAM batted a new low of .441 with 1 Home Run 1 Triple and 5 walks. On the other hand THE TEAM had zero strikeouts. We haven't done that all season so that is something to be proud of.

Lou hit a Home Run. Peter had a streak of 23 consecutive hits come to an end. But the Ozzie Gullien book of quotes that he never actually said goes to Doug who went 2 for 3 with a walk and 3 RBIs.

Dora we 2 for 4 with an RBI and tried to knock their firstbaseman out. Enjoy your book of Ozzie Guillen quotes that he never actually said.

My wrist hurts. I'm not typing anymore


Sunday, October 30, 2011

Game 7 - The Moment It All Went to Hell

Team Puma added some players. This was not the group that had their heads handed to them by THE TEAM in the first round. But you knew that. They had one guy who had some power and eveything else was just a nice line drive. I hope Gavin took some nice pictures of them.

THE TEAM, on the other hand, was not hitting. THE TEAM batted a season low .462 with 3 Home Runs, 4 Doubles, no walks and 1 Strikeout. Hey one strikeout matches a season low so that's something good. Yeah. That's somehing.

Lou and Peter did what they do every week. Together they were 6 for 6 with 3 Home Runs 3 Doubles and 6 RBIs. But you knew that.

So now THE TEAM is 5-2 with the championship dream crumbling

But you knew that


Sunday, October 23, 2011

Game 6 - If I Can Dream

THE TEAM must need to do a better job of stretching and/or warming up before the game. Once again we gave up 7 runs in the first inning. Once again we kept our cool and chipped away at the lead. Once again THE TEAM won!!! That whole victory thing just never gets tired. It was a close game with THE TEAM up 12-11 late when Lou and Peter added home runs late to overcome our blizzard of errors and put the game away.

That umpire is a polite and conscientous gentleman but he is also a senior citizen who seems to be operating with degrading faculties because the final card said it was a 15-12 win but THE TEAM only scored 14.

Here are some nice details:

THE TEAM batted .667 with 2 Home Runs 4 Doubles 5 Walks and 1 Strikeout. There were RBIs by 10 different players. Now that's a team effort.

The whole Elvis thing has run it's course (A Lamar Fike Memphis Mafia Jacket? What a bunch of bulls**t). For the second half of the season we will award... um... a book of Ozzie Guillen quotes that he never actually said. It was a full effort by everybody on THE TEAM but The Great Book of Ozzie Guillen Quotes that he never actually said goes to Andrew who went 3 for 3 with 2 RBIs. Jad gets The Great Book of Ozzie Guillen quotes that he never actually said by going 3 for 3 with a walk and an RBI.

Thanks Ozzie. Good luck in Florida


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Game 4 and Game 5 - TCB

THE TEAM finished the first round by sweeping a doubleheader. It's all coming together. Soon THE TEAM will take over the world. First we must take over G League. If I understood correctly, Can U Dig It also won their two games. Their loss to Team Puma has them at 4-1 just like THE TEAM. They have the tie-breaker because of the straight up victory.

But who cares about those idiots

THE TEAM is awesome! THE TEAM tied a season low by batting .469 but Lou was everywhere on defense along with the rest of THE TEAM to hold The Fockers to 3 runs. That's right one two three stinkin' runs. Peter had 5 RBIs by himself in that game.

The next game was even better. Smash scored 7 runs in the top of the first. THE TEAM scored 5 in the bottom of the first. After that we just chipped away until we exploded in the late innings. THE TEAM batted .722 with 3 Home Runs 3 Triples 7 Walks and 3 Strikeouts. Andrew hit a grand slam. Katie went 3 for 3 with 2 triples and 3 RBIs. Amy went 3 for 4 with 2 RBIs. Dora went 2 for 4 with 2 RBIs. THE TEAM played hard and won 25-13.


Let's look at some leaders for the first round:

Batting Average Gentlemen

Lou .889
Peter .889
Andrew .750

Batting Average Ladies

Katie .714
Melody .667
Dora .563

RBIs Gentlemen

Peter 21
Lou 14
Andrew 11

RBIs Ladies

Katie 4
Amy 4
Melody 4

Home Runs

Lou (7)
Peter (6)
Andrew (2)


Andrew (2)
Katie (2)


Lou (3)

I don't have any pitching statistics but Chris and Lou have to be acknowledged for their great work there.

Let's go out and win the second round for another shot at Can U Dig It and a Championship.


Sunday, October 9, 2011

Game 3 - Return to Sender

You have to give The Flappers credit. THE TEAM stomped their guts out but they kept having fun. They scored 3 in the top of the first and then THE TEAM responded with 12. The umpire told us that if we scored 14 he was going to put us back in the field and let them bat again. That's how awesome THE TEAM was at the plate in the 19-5 victory.

THE TEAM batted .733 with 5 Home Runs, 5 Doubles, 5 Walks and 3 Strikeouts. Lou and Peter each hit two home runs and Andrew hit a Grandslam. Dora made a great play on a foul ball. THE TEAM is coming together.

There are three TVs in the Monkey Room at Graceland. One for Peter who went 4 for 4 with 6 RBIs. One for Lou who went 4 for 4 with 4 RBIs and also did a great job pitching. And one for Andrew who had 5 RBIs including the Grand Slam.

Melody went 4 for 4 with a double and 2 RBIs so Sonny and Red West are going to beat the s**t out of whoever she chooses.

Holding any team to 5 runs in slowpitch softball means everybody contributes.

Great Win.


Sunday, October 2, 2011

Game 2 - Mystery Train

Sometimes it feels like the game is getting a little out of hand and the umpire will tighten some calls to keep it a little more competitive. I'm not talking about inventing rules or fabricating circumstances. I just mean I've never seen that out called for being outside of the batters box and we ended up with two in one game. It's a real rule. He didn't just decide to make it a good idea because Team Puma was outnumbered.

Let's not focus on that. Let's focus on sweet sweet victory. THE TEAM batted .622 with 3 Home Runs, 1 Double, 1 Walk and 1 Strikeout for 17-7 victory over Team Puma. These were the clowns who stood us up for the second practice game so beating them was a little extra spicey. Attendance seems to be a problem for them. I guess that's why they aren't called Team Pumas.

If anybody in G League comes to bat with a runner on first they better make sure to keep it away from Chris. He teamed up with Jad to turn in his third double play of the season. Dora went 3 for 4 with 2 RBIs to raise her average to .714.


Karate lessons from Ed Parker go to Peter who went 3 for 4 with 2 home runs and 6 RBIs.

A Lamar Fike Memphis Mafia jacket goes to Melody who went 3 for 4 with 2 RBIs.

It was a great effort by everyone. It was a victory fit for The King.


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Game 1 - Do it for The King

That was a tough loss. The truth is that they are all tough losses but Can U Dig It could hit and they had some talent in the outfield. Holding THE TEAM to 6 runs doesn't happen very often. Brutal.

Here is how THE TEAM looks for the Fall 2011 Season:

2 Katie
3 Lou
4 Jenny
8 Jad
10 Melody
11 Dave
15 Dora
16 Beth
17 Amy
18 Rick
19 Doug
24 Peter
25 Andrew
38 Michelle
99 Chris

THE TEAM batted .469 with two home runs, two triples, one walk and four strikeouts. We started strong and went cold.

We are going to go with an Elvis theme to acknowledge outstanding effort this season. Lou went 2 for 3 with 2 hime runs and 2 RBIs. Andrew went 3 for 3 with 2 triples and 2 RBIs. They both get peanutbutter and banana sandwiches.

Dora went 2 for 3 so she gets Gladys' favorite, the pink Cadillac.

There was lots of hustle out there and there are still 9 games left to win


Sunday, September 11, 2011

The First Practice Game - Fall 2011

There are lots of new faces on THE TEAM. They are talented and athletic faces too. Well, if you can have an athletic face. The important thing is that they have athletic arms and legs and hands to go with their athletic kissers.

THE TEAM beat The Fockers 17-16 by batting .615 with two triples and three home runs. The other encouraging detail is that THE TEAM had zero strikeouts. OK there was one but that was by a player who recently had surgery and was not supposed to play so I say we give a free pass on that and go with zero Ks.

There has been no effort to come up with what the mythical award will be for outstanding effort in a game. The last time I asked for suggestions I received exactly zero so...

Jad went 5 for 5 in her debut for THE TEAM. Amy went 2 for 4 with an RBI. Let's give them both the "Damn Dirty Hippy" Award.

Chris went 3 for 5 with a triple and 4 RBIs but the "Damn Dirty Hippy" Award has to go to Lou who went 4 for 4 with 3 Home Runs including two grand slams for a total of 9 RBIs.

It was a great effort by everyone. We are all Damn Dirty Hippies.


Sunday, August 7, 2011

F Championship Game

Well, that was a heartbreaker.  THE TEAM started off really strong in the first inning hitting through the lineup and scoring a few runs.  Fuggetaboudit also scored and they held a 1-run lead after the first inning.  Clearly, this was going to be a close one.

THE TEAM was able to shut them down during at least two innings and went into the last inning with a 5-run lead.  Sadly, Forget About It mounted an impressive comeback including a bloop shot down the left field foul line with the bases loaded that no one could have fielded well.  The Forgets About Its ended up tying the game with THE TEAM had only having one out, and then they scored the winning run moments later.

I can't speak for everyone but I was pretty crushed by it.  We seem pretty evenly matched with Fuggetaboudit and we did give a good effort.  At least it wasn't a 31-7 blowout or anything.  Perhaps Forget About it is the Lex Luthor to our Superman, the Magneto to our Professor X, the plate of nachos to the goal of dropping that last 10 pounds.

This was THE TEAM's second championship game in its history (we didn't win that one either).  I'm proud that we made it to the championship game again and even got ourselves bumped up to the F league.

But I still want that f**king champion blue shirt!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Summer 2011

So that was the end of the regular season for the Summer of 2011. There were ups and downs and we had a lot of players come and go but we still managed to finish 8-2.
That ties the best season in the history of THE TEAM.

Speaking of history, the 16-4 win over The Ballers today means that THE TEAM is now 50 wins and 50 losses for our entire history. Chris and Jenny and Lou have been there for all of them so you know more than anybody that we have come a long way and have a lot to be proud of.

As far as the game goes, all that heat and humidity made it a lot like playing in the Midwest. That's probably why Lou hit two home runs. He probably felt like he needed to escape from Ohio all over again.

Through all that sweat and misery Belinda made a great catch as Robbin so good job Robbin and Belinda. Melody actually bled. That's hustle.

It seemed like we scored a couple of runs every inning.

Now we have a championship to win. If the HoneyBadgers beat Fugittaboudit then THE TEAM wins Round 2 of F League and plays On Point. If Fugittaboudit wins then THE TEAM plays the winner of the Lamda Lamda Lamda Has Beens game for the G League Championship.



Sunday, July 24, 2011

THE TEAM - Game 9

There are so many things to say and no statistics to back any of it up. Next season we will go back to keeping full stats for everyone.


Lou and Peter hit home runs. Did Andrew hit one too? I'm going to say yes because we don't have any stats to back any of it up.

There was a perfectly played groundball by Melody early in the game. There was a great stab from first by Peter. There was an eye-popping throw later on from Peter.

Lou did a great job pitching the whole game even after Team Merica started calling him by name. I think he struck out 14 batters. Sure man, we don't have any stats to back any of this up.

Here is what we can be certain of:

Justin had to leave and that was going to cost us an out. As a parting gift he hit a home run. That was pretty freakin' macho. As a matter of fact we are going to call that Hand Job Taco macho.

Kristin came back to help out. A few seasons ago she was improving with each game. She picked up right where she left off. Great game there.

Hand Job Tacos go to Beth playing as the mysterious Stacey (She's the dude playin' a dude disguised as another dude). She was fearless playing a new position and made two fantastic plays for two outs from third base.

Great game. Great win.


Monday, July 18, 2011

Game 8 - Honey Badgers

Ah, now on to more recent events (i.e., ones I can somewhat remember).  Yesterday we played the Honey Badgers.  I was a bit worried at first glance because they looked like a soccer team - all matching jerseys and color coordinated down to the socks.  Surely a team this organized must kick some ass!  Well...not so much.  Their pitcher struggled to throw strikes which we turned into quite a few walks, and then we got hits at the right times.  I believe the final score was 15-8 because they had one bright inning of offense but THE TEAM ended up with another one in the W column.

I don't remember how anyone personally did since I am selfish and only remember that I popped out THREE freaking times.  I also remember there was another awkward play at home because the runner did not step on the plate.  I had the ball, stepped on the plate and told the umpire "He missed the plate."  The guy ran back and stepped on the plate and it ended up counting as a run because apparently I have to say "I protest the call."  I think I also have to sacrifice a dove, point to the Western sun and give the umpire a reacharound for one of these calls at home plate to work out in my favor.  Somebody get me a rulebook.

In HAPPIER news -- THE TEAM is currently 6-2 so no matter what, we will have a winning season this year.  This hasn't happened since we (mistakenly) traded Mark McGwire to Oakland back in the late '80s.  Tacos for everyone.

Game 7

Last week, we played...Salem Heat.  (I think.)  I do remember that we won.  It was a close game but we held on and ending up shitting in their cereal (figuratively).


Thursday, June 30, 2011

Game 6 - Fugetaboudit

So, Game 6 happened. We played against Fugetaboudit who we have creamed the last 2-3 times we played them.  We struggled with the heat and we struggled to get some real offense going.  When thinking about this game overall, I think we should just Fugetaboudit. (ZING! See what I did there?)

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Games 4 and 5

Game 4 was The Expendables vs. The Team.  I think The Expendables got their asses handed to them 25-3 in the first game so they were probably feeling pretty used and abused by the time The Team took the field.  Their pitching staff had problems nailing the plate so we drew a lot of walks the first two innings which got a lot of people in base.  A few people were able to make good contact and bring the runs in so we had a strong lead going after 2 innings and held it throughout the game.

Handjob tacos go to Rick for a sweet line drive down the third base side that stayed fair and brought in three runs, including himself, and also to Robin for making a smart throw back to first base to get the final out of the game after the runner already had a leadoff that was rounding third.

Game 5 was The Team vs. The Shakeweights which saw Chris pitch a shutout but have his perfect game blown in the fifth inning with an errant walk.  Also, Lou hit for the Cycle and Roma went 4-for-4.  Or maybe The Shakeweights failed to show up for the game BECAUSE THEY ARE SCARED OF US and we won by forfeit and all got home in time for the sunset.  Yeah, that's the ticket!

Happy Father's Day!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Game 3

For Game 3, we played against Lambda Lambda Lambda (who I believe were known as H1We1 the last time we played them).  They weren't nearly as douchey this time which I appreciated.

It was a close game and The Team almost lost it during that one inning where we gave up a lot of runs.  In fact, it came down to the final inning as Lambda had the tying and winning runs on base but The Team's defense rallied to shut down their comeback.  I think the final score was something like 15-13.

I don't do a great job of keeping statistics like Rick so I don't know who is getting tacos or handjobs this week.  Everyone did a good job and I'm glad we all hung in there to slug it out for the W.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Game 2 - Memories shared serve each differently

You win some. You lose some. Sometimes you can't be sure. In all the seasons THE TEAM has been around we have endured some bad calls and some scrambled logic from the umpires. There was really only one guy that seemed to not care about the game. (Does anybody remember that clown that used to sit on the bucket and talk to his friends through the fence?) Anyway. It always seemed like the umpires were doing their best and you just have to figure on calls being blown or details being missed. Now not counting the runs correctly is a pretty major detail. Even when it was all over he was trying say something along the lines of just slapping some score on the card that said that Smash won.

We could go on and on.

According to my statistics THE TEAM batted .528 with 3 home runs, one double, one triple, four walks and three stirkouts. There is a good chance that all of that is true.

Lou for hit a grand slam and that is always awesome but the Robert Evans un-holy handjob goes to Dave who went 3 for 3 with 2 homeruns, an triple and 6 RBIs. Welcome back Dave!

A Robert Evans un-holy handjob for Robbin who had 4 RBIs on the day. She also showed lots of hustle on those home runs.


Sunday, May 22, 2011

Game 1 - The Kid Stays in the Picture

The Summer Season has officially started with a 15-9 victory over the Has Beens.

Let's start by looking at the roster:

00 CJ
2 Stacey
3 Lou
4 Jenny
7 Katina
9 Lori
10 Melody
11 Dave
18 Rick
21 Dorothy
24 Peter
25 Robbin
27 Andrew
35 Roma
42 Justin
99 Chris

That looks like a list of champions to me.

Did anybody see The Kid Stays in the Picture? It's a documentary about greaseball Hollywood producer Robert Evans. Robert Evans is the only voice you hear throughout the whole movie and he is one self-important show-biz gas bag. It should have been called Robert Evans unholy handjob to himself. I mention that because in 82 softball games I have hit two home runs. On Sunday I hit two in one game. I am actually leading THE TEAM in home runs. I can hardly believe it myself. Of course this blog should never become The Kid Stays in the Picture so...

The Robert Evans unholy handjob goes to Justin who went 2 for 2 with 2 walks and 4 RBIs.

The Robert Evans unholy handjob goes to Lori who went 3 for 3 to make a nice splash in her first official game with THE TEAM.

THE TEAM batted .536 with 4 Home Runs 7 walks and 2 strikeouts.

Strong start to a strong season




Sunday, May 1, 2011

THE TEAM - Practice Game

The Umpire told us it was a 12-12 tie. It was a practice game so nobody was really keeping score but I believe it would have been more like THE TEAM 56 Fugittaboudit 8.

Perhaps I am getting carried away.

Lou hit a home run

It is true

There was lots of hustle. Who doesn't love that!!!

We got to meet Dorothy and she did a good job keeping the ball in front of her in Right Field.



Sunday, April 17, 2011

THE TEAM - Winter 2011

So that was the Winter 2011 season. We finished 8-2. That is our best season ever. We timed our losses just right so that we were left out of the championship game but that's still a season we can all be proud of.

THE TEAM finished the season by sweeping another double-header. It's hard to keep track of double-headers when it comes time to acknowledge everybody in this blog. There were a bunch of double plays including at least one unassisted by Melody. There was a great catch in right by Katina. There was some great fielding to go along with great pitching by Chris. Jenny showed up after the game started, laced on her cleats and hit a single. Peter slid right through his shoes.

Like I said, these things are hard to keep track of.

In the first game THE TEAM batted .529 with 2 Doubles 2 Walks and 2 Strikeouts. That was an 8-5 victory over Softball Ain't a Game.

In the second game THE TEAM batted .524 with 2 Home Runs 6 Doubles 5 Walks and 3 Strikouts. That was a 17-6 win over Fugittaboudit.

For the season THE TEAM batted .529 with 11 Home Runs 27 Doubles 7 Triples 48 Walks and 35 Strikeouts.

Here is what you did:

00 CJ batted .324 with 9 RBIs a double and 7 walks. She has as much hustle as anybody in all of Burbank

3 Lou batted .630 with 15 RBIs 2 Home Runs a double and led THE TEAM with 4 triples. He also did a great job pitching.

4 Jenny lead the ladies with a .571 batting average. She had 3 RBIs a Double and 6 walks

7 Katina batted .500 with 3 RBIs in two games.

10 Melody did not really wear #10. We need to get her a jersey for next season. She did really bat .467 with 4 RBIs and led THE TEAM with 14 walks. That's an OBP of .636
15 Robbin batted .400 with 9 RBIs and 2 Doubles.

18 Rick batted .581 with 11 RBIs 1 Home Run 4 Doubles 2 Triples and 2 walks.

24 Peter batted .714 with 22 RBIs 1 Home Run 4 Doubles 1 Triple and 2 walks

25 Andrew batted .656 with 13 RBIs 6 Doubles and 2 walks

27 Roma batted .080 with 2 RBIs and 9 walks

42 Justin led THE TEAM with a .813 batting average, led THE TEAM with 27 RBIS, led THE TEAM with 7 Home runs. He also hit 6 Doubles and walked 3 times but he never hit a Triple. How lazy.

99 Chris batted .600 with 12 RBIs 2 doubles and three walks on top of delivering another great season pitching.

Great season


Monday, April 11, 2011


The Championship dream for THE TEAM took a giant shot in the teeth after a 12-7 loss to the Eye Catchers. The sun was in our eyes and we batted a season low .345 with a season high 7 strikeouts. Brutal. The dream is not dead however. All we need to do is sweep our doubleheader on Sunday (THE TEAM has already swept a doubleheader this season). Then we need H1 We1 to beat The Eye Catchers 21 to 20 and we will win the tiebreaker. I could explain the tie-breaker but f**k that. You can e-mail if you are curious. Either way...


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

THE TEAM - Sweet sweet victory

THE TEAM was a little rusty but at least we showed up at the correct field ( well, almost all of us). Here is why we THE TEAM is awesome: We were up early and then in the 4th Rapid Inebriation had a big inning and we were down 11-6. In the bottom of the 4th THE TEAM took it right back to go up 15-11. We were scoring runs so fast the umpire couldn't keep track. (It's true, he asked me how many came across that inning. He had us a 16 runs but I had to tell him we had only 15.) THE TEAM batted .526 with 2 doubles, a triple, 7 walks and ZERO strikeouts. YES! That spells a 15-13 victory and THE TEAM officially has a winning season. Let's award some tacos to Doug and Katina and Lori for helping out when we were short. Together they batted .833 with 5 RBIs and two walks. We couldn't have done it without them. GO THE TEAM!!!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Game 6 Recap Part Deux

That was a bit of a rough game yesterday. Thanks to everyone for hanging in there and pulling out a W against those guys. Was it just me or did that first baseman remind anyone else of former WWE wrestler Headbanger Thrasher? (see photo) I think it was Peter that made the initial connection but the more I think about it, the more I can't get it out of my head.

Anyway, the first inning was rough especially for me. It felt like I gave up 14 runs but later I found out it was "only" six. It's hard when the pitching gets to your head and the other team is just standing there doing nothing. Alas, persistence, patience and some tight defense helped us catch up and eventually grind out a win. We all know how much it sucks to have the other team come from behind and win, so it's especially rewarding when it's our Cinderella story that graces the front page of the Burbank sports section.

As Rick said, it was important that none of us came unglued and we held it together. It's games like that that make me proud of how far our team has come and how well we are coming together. I think the only game we've lost so far was the first game of the season (I think), which means we're on a 5-game winning streak. Here's to more.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Game 6 - !!!!!

That was a great comeback in an important game for THE TEAM. H1We1 was a G League team that came down to H League after the first round. Beating them would be essential if we want play for the championship. THE TEAM had a slow start and finished the first inning down 5 to 0. That's quite a hole to dig out of. The nice thing is that nobody came unglued. We kept it together and chipped away at their lead little by little.

THE TEAM batted a season-low .370 with no home runs. There were only two hits for extra bases all game. However, the defense was strong holding them to only two runs for the rest of the game and THE TEAM was able to get it together when we needed to for an 11-7 win. It seemed like everybody was doing just enough at just the right time.

In the Fall 2009 season after our first win we said that if everyone died of a heroin overdose THE TEAM would still not have a losing season. (They had all been losing seasons up to that point.) Chris Commented "Sweet! Let's get some heroin".

Heroin for Chris for going 3 for 4 with a double and 3 RBIs on top of bouncing back from a rough start to show why is the best pitcher in H League.

Heroin for Robbin who had 2 RBIs in a tight game.


Monday, March 7, 2011

THE TEAM - Round 1

Our only loss in the first round was to The Ballers. We tied 12-12 and lost in the tie-breaker. Fugittaboudit could not beat them yesterday so THE TEAM finished in second and will stay in H League. Still, 4-1 is pretty strong. We've only allowed 34 runs and scored 82. THE TEAM is coming together.

Game 5 was no exception. Softball Ain't a Game couldn't keep up and THE TEAM wins 17-6. That is just an average game for us. Seriously. Do the math. As far as awards for the game, how boring will it be to just give it Justin again. He had 9 RBIs. He had more RBIs than the whole other team. (Of course winning and having an outstanding player like Justin not boring. Let's not be misunderstood here)

Let's look at some leaders for the first round

Batting Average

.947 Justin
.833 Lou
.769 Chris

.636 Jenny
.526 Melody
.368 Robbin


22 Justin
11 Andrew
10 Lou
10 Peter

4 Robbin
3 CJ
2 Melody
2 Roma


Andrew (5)
Justin (4)
Peter (3)
Rick (2)
CJ (1)
Chris (1)


Lou (2)
Peter (1)
Rick (1)

Home Runs

Justin (6)
Lou (1)

THE TEAM is looking good. The championship dream still lives. Who wants a blue t-shirt!


Saturday, March 5, 2011

THE TEAM - The Name

A couple season ago the idea was floating around about changing the name of THE TEAM (That was how we ended up with that those "tacos" being awarded for the games). One of the limitations placed on that choice was that we had to stick with something that started with "T". We aren't getting new jerseys again.

I had a thought that we could call ourselves TIGER BLOOD for the next season. Instead of all the e-mail and blog posts ending with GO THE TEAM!!! they could all end with "Winning!"

Of course that is going to be one tired joke by next June. The other problem is how we would all feel when Charlie Sheen is dead.

Say no to drugs


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

These Go to Eleven

As we found out in our doubleheader this past weekend, apparently it is OK by the rule books to have a PA system complete with annoying jazz/rap/funk music playing throughout the entire game AND a team member is allowed to take the microphone and provide live commentary during the last inning.

In preparation for our next game, I went ahead and ordered two (2) Marshall double stack amps and a CD entitled 'Sounds of the German Blitzkrieg 1939-1941' in preparation for our next game against the Eye Catchers.

Was I the only one annoyed by that, or was I the only one whose ears could not tune it out?

Monday, February 14, 2011

Game 4- Yo bartender, Jobu needs a refill.

Major League was released on April 7, 1989. That means Major League is old enough to drink. That movie shows a bunch of minimally talented misfits come together and become winners. What the hell does THE TEAM know about that!!! We are awesome!

It was mentioned in that stupid Cast Away post ( A "Wilson"? Really?) that THE TEAM swept a double header. In the second game THE TEAM batted .646 with 2 Home Runs, 6 Doubles, 1 Triple, no walks and 4 Strikeouts. Those are some attractive numbers (Except for the Strikeouts). We can also be proud that we held Fugittaboudit to only 4 runs. Holding any team to 4 runs in a slow pitch softball game is pretty strong.

Andrew went 5 for 5 with 3 RBIs. Roma went 1 for 4 with 2 RBIs. Melody went 2 for 5 with 1 RBI. All of THE TEAM was going nuts but the Jobu's rum can only go to one gentleman and one lady.

Justin went 5 for 5 with 2 doubles, 2 Home Runs and 7 RBIs. Jobu's rum for Justin.

Robbin 2 for 5 with 2 RBIs. Jobu's rum for Robbin.

Maybe we should rethink this. It was a great effort by everybody on THE TEAM and that makes it hard to trim it down to only two people. OK, Justin and Robbin are awarded Hats for Bats and a shot of Jobu's rum goes to Chris for being the best pitcher in all of H League. Chris throws strikes. If you want to score runs against THE TEAM you have to earn them because he isn't giving anything away. CJ dove head first back to second to avoid getting caught in a double play. That's gotta be Jobu's rum-worthy. Jenny went 3 for 5 but the rum would wasted on her.

The point is...


Game 3 - I... have made fire!

Can you believe Cast Away is 11-years-old? It seems like only yesterday I was punching myself in the neck to stay awake for that movie.

THE TEAM swept a double-header. That last time we did that we ended up playing for a championship. The EyeCatchers are a pretty good team that can't seem to beat us and this time was no exception. When it was all over it was 17-9.

THE TEAM batted .625 with a Home Run, 4 Doubles, 3 Triples, 4 walks and 5 Strikeouts.

In keeping with the Cast Away theme, we will award a "Wilson" to the outstanding efforts for Game 3.

Peter made a sweet play at SS and threw the runner out from one knee (CJ dug that throw out beautifully). Peter also blew up at the plate after a slow start. Peter hit for the cycle going 5 for 5 with 7 RBIs. Enjoy your Wilson Peter.

CJ dug that throw out beautifully (remember?). She also went 1 for 3 with an RBI and hustled hustled hustled. Enjoy Tom Hanks bloody handprint on your Wilson.

It was a great effort by everybody and it was nice to see that the two weeks off didn't slow us down.


Monday, January 24, 2011

Game 2 - Now it places the lotion in the basket

That's from Silence of the Lambs. That movie is 20 years old. I can't believe it either. What I can believe is that THE TEAM won 15-3 against Rapid Inebriation. Holding a team to 3 runs in slow pitch softball is something to be proud of. That puts THE TEAM at 1 and 1 and getting better. In a strange turn of events, Melody hurt her leg and had to be moved from the outfield to the infield. It turns out she can play some second base. How lucky is that! CJ has her glove in mid-season form. Justin is turning out to be a valuable addition to THE TEAM.

THE TEAM batted .438 with 2 Home Runs, a double and a triple. We also walked 7 times and struck out 6 times.

It looks like that whole Raiders of the Lost Ark thing already went to hell. Headpiece to the Staff of Ra? How silly. In keeping with the Silence of the Lambs we will award The Plum Island Animal Disease Research Center for the outstanding effort this week. Now that's an award!

Justin gets the Plum Island Animal Disease Research Center award for another great double play. He went 2 for 2 with 2 Home Runs, a walk and 5 RBIs.

Melody gets the Plum Island Animal Disease Research Center award for the ladies. She went 1 for 3 with two walks but had some great stops at second base.

Good job everyone

It's so much more fun when we win


P.S. I am missing two RBIs on the stats. We have Justin (5) Lou(4) Chris (2) Andrew (1) and Rick (1). That's only 13 but we scored 15. What did I miss? Any help?

Monday, January 17, 2011

Game 1 - Oh my friends! I'm so pleased your not dead.

That quote is from Raiders of the Lost Ark. That movie is 30 years old. Time flies, ask anybody. A couple of season ago I tried to base the blog posts on The Big Lebowski. I did a terrible job so now I am going to try to see if we can have them all somehow relate to Raiders of the Lost Ark. Doesn't that sound like a horrible idea? Yes!

First things first, let's get acquainted with the Winter 2011 Roster. It looks like this:

00 Carrie
2 Tiffany playing as Liz
3 Lou
4 Jenny
15 Robbin
16 Melody playing as Dody
18 Rick
24 Peter
25 Andrew
27 Roma
42 Justin
99 Chris

Look at all that talent! Seriously, look at it. OK enough.

Game 1 was a tough loss. We were tied 12-12 and ended up losing in the tie-breaker. On the other hand there was a lot of promise. We have a solid core to build on. The Championship Dream Lives!

THE TEAM batted .543 with 2 Home Runs, 2 Walks and 4 Strikeouts. Andrew went 4 for 4 with 2RBIs. Roma has found her stroke with solid contact on her second at-bat and a genuine single in her third at-bat. Melody/Dody made a great play in Right Field. Justin turned a double-play. Everybody on THE TEAM showed great effort but now it is time to award the outstanding players. In keeping with the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme we will go with the headpiece to the Staff of Ra.

Lou gets the headpiece to the Staff of Ra for going 4 for 4 with a Home Run and 5 RBIs. He also did a solid job pitching

Sarah gets the headpiece to the Staff of Ra for going 2 for 3 with a double and 2 RBIs. I realize she is not officially on the roster but it was a great help and a great effort by someone who has plenty of history with THE TEAM.


Monday, January 10, 2011

THE TEAM - Winter 11

Let the games begin