THE TEAM - The End of 2015 - A Lot of Stuff to Cover

There was a blog missing at the end of the season so that has to be acknowledged.  There was also the end of the season stats for everybody so that has to be in here.  It all ends with a G League Championship.  It's the second one this year and the third in the history of THE TEAM.

That's a lot to cover.  This could go long.

And away... we............ go!

That's that Billy on the Street guy.  He's pretty funny.  This blog won't be that funny and it won't have Rashida Jones

Fuck you guys!

The last game of the season was the fake grudge match with Pitches Be Crazy.  Once again it came down to the tie breaker.  The last tie breaker got all weird but there was nothing weird about this one.  Lou hit a single.  Aerial hit into a Fielder's Choice so that's two bases.  Peter hits a Triple to drive in Aerial for 8 total bases.  THE TEAM was looking good.  Pitches first hitter launched one into left where Victor took care of it.  Their next hitter smoked one right into Peter's glove so that was that.  Their last hitter didn't even come up because there was no way for him to hit a 9 base Home Run.

That was fun.

2015 was a great year for THE TEAM.  Overall THE TEAM went 21-9 and set records for Batting Average (.631), Home Runs (48), Triples (33), and RBIs (447).  THE TEAM also had 110 Doubles, 94 Walks and 38 Strikeouts.  In the Post Season THE TEAM went 4-0 hitting .652 with 99 RBIs, 16 Doubles, 9 Triples, 11 Home Runs, 28 Walks and only 6 Strikeouts.

Here is what you did:

3 Lou led THE TEAM hitting .788.  He was also the Home Run leader (6) and led THE TEAM with 10 Doubles.  He drove in 21, had a Triple and 3 Walks.  Wait there is more!  On the year he played in all 29 games ( there was that forfeit ) he hit .837 with 71 RBIs, 26 Doubles, 10 Triples, 11 Walks and 22 Home Runs.

5 Kelly finished the Fall season hitting .565 with 5 RBIs, 2 Doubles and 2 Walks.  For the year she played in 26 games hitting .521 with 19 RBIs, 4 Doubles and 6 Walks for an OBP of .557

7 Natasha led the ladies hitting .606.   She also led the ladies with 12 RBIs and 6 Doubles.  Throw 4 Walks on there and you have an OBP of .649.  For the year she played in 24 games, hit .513 with 28 RBIs, 21 Doubles, 4 Triples, 9 Walks, 1 glorious Home Run and an impressive 0 Strikeouts.

8 Aerial hit .533 with 3 RBIs, 2 Doubles and a Walk.  For the year 2015 she played in 24 games, hit .550 with 20 RBIs, 6 Doubles and 7 Walks for an OBP of .586

10 Natalia only played in 3 games where she hit .222.  For the year she played in 16 games hitting .389 with 13 RBIs, 1 Double and 7 Walks for an OBP of .488.

12 Daniyel hit .333 with an RBI and 2 Walks.  For the year she hit .333 with an RBI and 2 Walks.  This is her first season with THE TEAM so she only knows how to finish as a champion.

18 Rick .654 15 RBIs 4 Doubles 1 Triple 1 Home Run.  For the year 29 games .660 38 RBIs 10 Doubles 4 Triples 3 Walks 2 Home Runs.

22 Dave hit .700 with 16 RBIs, 4 Doubles and 2 Triples.  No Walks No Strikeouts.  Tell that to Rashida Jones.  For the year he played in 28 games hitting .658 with 37 RBIs, 12 Doubles, 4 Triples, 4 Walks and 2 Home Runs.

23 Melody hit .600 with 2 RBIs and a Double.  She tied for the lead on THE TEAM with 4 Walks giving her an OBP of .714.  For the year she played in 18 games hitting .450 with 12 RBIs, 1 Double and 1 Triple.  She walked 18 times giving her an OBP of .621.

24 Peter did his Peter thing hitting .781 with 20 RBIs, 3 Doubles, 1 Triples and 4 Home Runs.  For the year he played in 29 games, hit .804 with 61 RBIs, 8 Doubles, 7 Triples, 4 Walks and 8 Home Runs.

25 Dora hit .577 with 10 RBIs, 2 Double and 4 Walks.  For the year she played in 29 games hitting .566 with 29 RBIs, 3 Doubles and 10 Walks.  There are no Home Runs in there but Dora has her Home Run trot down.

27 Victor hit a career best .741.  He led THE TEAM with 25 RBIs and was also tops with 3 Triples. He has 4 Home Runs and 4 Doubles and there was even a rare Walk in there.  For the year he played in 27 games hitting .595 with 67 RBIs, 15 Doubles, 5 Triples, 9 Walks and 11 Home Runs.

33 Jimmy hit .552 with 13 RBIs, 2 Doubles and 3 Walks.  He did that in 9 games.  Those are all his games but he is not leaving for New Jersey so lucky for THE TEAM there will be more games for Mister J-Bone.

There is still the matter of individual Post Season stats but...

Fuck you guys

Really this is already a long winded post with a lot of numbers so even though the off season is upon us, there will be another blog next week.  We will look at the what everybody did to make THE TEAM champions.

GO THE TEAM!!!

The Playoffs

Look at this guy

That's Don Shipley.  He is a former Navy Seal with a YouTube Channel.  He spends his time exposing fake Navy Seals.  He will offer a profile of some karate instructor or security expert who claims to be a ex-Navy Seal.  He checks them against his data base and then gives them a jingle and exposes them for the frauds that they are.  It is an occasionally amusing and mostly upsetting offering.  He is a cranky old fart who could kill you with his bare hands.

On the subject of frauds

Where is the Don Shipley of Coed Softball to give Hot Sunday a big giant middle finger?

Look, there is no reason to swing at a bad pitch and give away an out but when the approach to to sit back on your heels and wait for the walk then you deserve the the big foam middle finger.

THE TEAM took only two walks.  THE TEAM had more strikeout (3) than walks.  THE TEAM was there to play, not watch.

That makes the victory just a little more tangy though.  They did a lot of standing around while Victor hit 2 Home Runs and drove in 6.  Lou hit a Home Run and drove in 3.  Daniyel went 2 for 3 with an RBI. 

You know who really gave them the big foam finger?  Dora, that's who.  Dora went 3 for 5  with 2 Doubles.  Dora made a great play on a foul ball.  Dora came up with the bases loaded in the bottom of the 7th and cleared the bases to tie the game.  After that she came in to score the winning run.

She will NOT be getting a call from Don Shipley.  Dora is the real deal.

Now it is time to win another Championship

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 8 loss 2 Game 9 loss 3

THE TEAM got swept in a Doubleheader.  That's certainly never good but it was quite a display of grit and effort.  Natasha should have been home neck deep in soup and Nyquil but she was there punching and kicking for THE TEAM.

Jessica also needs to be acknowledged for coming to the rescue.  Tiger Blood tested her in Right Field more than once and found out that was a bad idea.

There was a great rally in the bottom of the 6th that came up one run short in the first game.

Victor and Dave both drove in 6 runs in the two games.

Yes usually getting swept in a Doubleheader means there was some kind of skunk shit defense or some bone headed base running or something else out of character.  Not this time.  It was some solid softball that just didn't quite get it done.  

So no beer, I guess

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 7 - A Winning Season

That was win number six so regardless of how the next three games end, THE TEAM has its 16th winning season.

It seems like THE TEAM is really not into those close games.  THE TEAM either beats the crap out of someone or slouches into defeat while the game gets out of reach.  It's not true though.  This season there have been two 5 run wins and one 15 run loss so far but going back to last season there was a one run loss to Comic Relief and that tiebreaker with Pitches Be Crazy that seemed like the 1968 Chicago DNC.

Tight wins are usually not on the menu.

El Cid came down from E League and scored 26 runs in the first game of the second round so they were not farting around.  It was a back and forth slap fight but THE TEAM was getting what they needed from everybody to keep it close.

Jimmy went 4 for 4 with 2 RBIs.  Aerial went 3 for 3 with an RBI.

El Cid had the winning run at third and only one out when Lou and Kelly put together yet another double play to send it to the tiebreaker.

Peter ran all over the fucking place in the tiebreaker giving THE TEAM 4 bases.  El Cid had a leadoff double from some dude.  Then there was an out by some lady.  Their last batter rocketed one out to Center where Aerial made a clean catch for some sweet sweet victory.

El Cid is a good team.  They were crisp line drive hitters and looked very fluid in the field.  It would be a proud win against anybody but it gets even sweeter when THE TEAM plays up to the competition.

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 6 - F League F is for Fiasco

Dennis is asshole

Why Charlie Hate

Dennis is Bastard Man

GO THE TEAM!!!

Not Game 5 & The First Round

Hot Sunday could not wrangle up enough ladies.  There were only 7 Hot Sundays.  Lucky for everyone Natasha and Melody brought their Hot Sundays over to the other dugout and there was a game type experience anyway.  It was good practice.

The person who kind of got screwed was Jimmy.  He went 4 for 4 with a Double, a Triple and 5 RBIs in a game that didn't count.

Jimmy didn't get to pad his stats but a win is a win.  THE TEAM finished the first round undefeated so the playoff spot is secured and F League better be ready.

Let's look at the leaders like we always do

Batting Avg Gentlemen

Lou .929
Peter .875
Rick .833

Batting Avg Ladies

Natasha .750
Melody .667
Daniyel .667

RBIs Gentlemen

Victor 18
Lou 17
Peter 12

RBIs Ladies

Natasha 7
Dora 4
Melody 2
Kelly 2

Doubles

Lou 5
Natasha 5
Dave 3
Rick 3
Peter 2
Victor 2
Kelly 1
Melody 1
Dora 1

Triples

Victor 2
Peter 1
Rick 1

Home Runs

Lou 5
Peter 3
Victor 3

That's how you go undefeated in the first round

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 4 - The End of Fun

Not the end of fun for THE TEAM.  No No!  THE TEAM had lots of fun administering the greatest ass whipping in the history of THE TEAM.  THE TEAM really opened a can... no a 55 gallon drum... no...

Here it comes

The phrase "a can of whoop ass" is so tired.  The point is THE TEAM has never scored so many runs or won by such a wide margin.  When THE TEAM played Breaking Bats in the first game of the season it was a borderline embarrassing 9-4 win.  Usually a team of beginners like Breaking Bats will figure a few things out and get tougher as the season moves along but not this time.

The official score was 35-5 but once THE TEAM started giving outs away by stepping on the plate, the umpire stopped keeping count.  THE TEAM actually scored 43 runs.  Now you know why a mere "can" does not begin to tell the story.

THE TEAM hit .809 with 8 Home Runs 2 Triples and 6 Doubles.  There were also 9 Walks in there and only 1 Strikeout.   Ten players played and all ten had multiple hits.  All ten had RBIs.

Natasha hit 3 Doubles and drove in 2.  Daniyel got her first two hits and drove in the first RBI of her life.  Victor hit a Grand Slam.  Peter went 6 for 6.  Lou lit the record book on fire hitting 4 Home runs including a Grand Slam and had 12 RBIs for the game.    

THE TEAM is undefeated and looks ready for the playoffs 

Look out F League

GO THE TEAM!!!

Two Teams and the Sun

THE TEAM swept a Doubleheader.  There are always a lot of ingredients swirling around in the blender so it's hard to keep track of the margarita that is a double header.

There was a Triple Play by Peter.  There was a great 2 out rally to put game 2 out of reach.  THE TEAM hit .686 in Game 1 and .700 in Game 2 scoring a total of  38 runs.  Jimmy got his first 2 RBIs as a full time member of THE TEAM.

That's some margarita

Salud!

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 1 - Some of This and Some of That

First things first, let's have a look at the roster for Fall 2015.

 3 Lou
 5 Kelly
 7 Natasha
 8 Aerial
10 Natalia
12 Daniyel
18 Rick
22 Dave
23 Melody
24 Peter
25 Dora
27 Victor
33 Jimmy

There are some new faces there.  Yes this version of THE TEAM has that new face smell.

Things started out with Natasha announcing that she had very little sleep and was ready to go all Chuck Manson on everybody.  She is a decent person so going Chuck Manson meant that she was going to start stealing dune buggies.

That's true you know!  Charles Manson was a dune buggy thief.  Your little sub culture icon isn't such a hero now is he?

We digress

THE TEAM hit a not bad .548.  THE TEAM defense was also spectacularly not bad.  Lou hit a Home Run.  Natasha went 2 for 3 with a Double and 3 RBIs.  Let's all get zero sleep and go undefeated.

GO THE TEAM!!!

Summer 2015

THE TEAM wrapped up the summer season by beating Pitches Be Crazy in a tie breaker.  They had two Home Runs for a total of 8 bases.  THE TEAM came up and did some stuff and then everybody on Pitches Be Crazy went...  Crazy.  It was all so tense and weird that it was probably 3am before it all made sense.  Peter gets a hit so that was one base.  Kelly draw a walk so she gets one base and moves the runner over for a total of three bases.  Lou comes up and drives in Victor (who was running for Peter), Kelly slides into to third and Lou stops at second.  Kelly was called safe at third and then it was like some mad dash with everybody running around and looking for a call.  From there we went to the video review from New York and then some people were using phrases like "bullshit" and Blue says "Ball Game!" and some more people throw the ball and say "bullshit" some more.

What's the problem?

The first batter( Peter/Victor) came all the way around for 4 bases.  Kelly was safe at third so she had three bases giving THE TEAM 7.  Lou goes to second for two more giving THE TEAM 9 total and the win.

Damn right Ball Game!

Actually it was kind of a mess but a win is a win so THE TEAM finished 6-4.

Here is what you did:

3 Lou does it again.  He played in all 10 games and led THE TEAM hitting.839.  He also led THE TEAM with 7 Home Runs and 9 Doubles.  He had 20 RBIs, 1 Triple and 6 Walks.  Where would we be without him.

5 Kelly played in 9 games.  She led the ladies hitting .640.  She had 8 RBIs, never struck out and was the most versatile infielder on THE TEAM.

7 Natasha played in 7 games.  She hit .391 with an OBP of .440.  She had 10 RBIs and your darn tootin' she hit a HOME RUN!  She was also a lights out pitcher.

8 Aerial played in 7 games.  She hit .636 and led the ladies with 12 RBIs and 3 Doubles.  She has also developed into a dangerous outfielder.

10 Natalia played in 4 games.  She hit .500 with a Double and 4 RBIs.  She led THE TEAM in having an awesome leg kick when she was hitting.

18 Rick 10 games .586 10 RBIs 1 Double 1 Triple

22 Dave played in 9 games.  He hit .556 with 10 RBIs.  He had 3 Doubles, 2 Triples and one jolly Home Run.  He was the other lights out pitcher for THE TEAM

23 Melody played in 8 games.  She hit .412 but led THE TEAM with 9 walks giving her an OBP of .615.  She also had 7 RBIs and a Triple.  She can play in the infield and she can play the outfield.  Adrian Gonzalez can't do that.  Maybe he is wearing her number.

24 Peter did the spectacular thing that Peter has been doing for 20 seasons. He played in 10 games hitting .806 and led THE TEAM with 22 RBIs.  He had 3 Doubles, 2 Triples and 2 Home Runs.  There was also lots of great catches that even had the other teams cheering for him.

25 Dora played in 10 games.  She smacked the ball down the third base line 12 times for a .480 average.  She also had a Double and 11 RBIs.  The new rules at home plate are great for keeping runners safe from Dora destroying them for trying to score.

27 Victor was a roller coaster for 9 games.  He finished with a .423 average but he had 5 Doubles, 2 Home Runs (both Grand Slams) and 20 RBIs.  Twenty RBIs on 11 hits is crazy...  just like Victor.  

Roxy played in 8 games.  She hit .478 with 8 RBIs.  She also had a Double and a Home Run.  She is leaving THE TEAM and that sucks.  You can't just go get another player like Roxy.

19 Doug played in 8 games.  He hit .737 with 12 RBIs and 5 Doubles and locked it down in left field. Doug is also leaving THE TEAM after 108 games.  That's a lot of softball.  As a matter of fact that's 197 for 312 for a .631 average.  Throw in those pitches that bored him into 47 walks and you have and OBP of .680.  Let's not forget the 151 RBIs, 50 Doubles, 8 Triples and 6 Home Runs.  Yes that is a lot of softball.  Doug will be missed.  Punch a shark in the face for THE TEAM

GO THE TEAM!!!  

Hey!

Mike Hessman set the record for most AAA Home Runs.  Sure that's great and all but he did it wearing an awesome hat!

Game 9 - Your Mileage May Vary

THE TEAM took that Swiss Cheese Defense and added some Limburger Cheese Offense.  Phew!

THE TEAM hit a season low .433.  Thirteen players played and only seven had hits.

Limburger Cheese indeed.

There is one game left so even if the playoffs are only possible if 144 things fall into place, a wining season is still within reach.

GO THE TEAM!!!

Doubleheader in The Summer

THE TEAM split a Doubleheader.  This was done by hitting a season high .710 in the first game and then unveiling a swiss cheese defense in Game 2.

Aren't Dave's Home Runs the best?  He looks like Charlie running home to tell Grandpa Joe about his Golden Ticket.

There are also a couple of milestones to acknowledge.  Peter join Lou in the rare air of the 300 hit club.  Victor joined Melody, Dora, Doug, and Natasha in the 100 hit club.

This is history people!

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 6 - Old Friends and New Insults

We should first congratulate I'd Hit That for making the playoffs.  That moved them up to F league for the second round so THE TEAM got to play them for the first time in a couple of seasons.  They seemed particularly frisky.  They had lots to say about everything.  It was a fun and lively victory.

Between that and Lady licking Melody's hand instead of trying to devour it, it was a magical day.

Another miracle was that Victor finally quit farting around and collected some hits.  He hit another Grand Slam, had 3 Doubles and 6 RBIs.  Love Potion # 27 has 6 hits all season but he has 13 RBIs. What in the name of Adam Dunn is that all about!

Natasha is back from wherever the hell she was.  She did a great job pitching and also went 2 for 4 with 2 RBIs.

Kelly, who has been locked in all season, went 4 for 5 with 2 RBIs.

Yes the fissures in the skull of this version of THE TEAM are coming together even if we do treat each other like shit sometimes.

I blame Lady

What are you lookin' at?

GO THE TEAM!!!

The First Round

Victor hit a Grand Slam in the 19-10 victory over Team Coco.  It was a hot and sweaty deal.  The whole game was hot and sweaty not just the Grand Slam.  THE TEAM finished the first round with a cute little 3-2 record.  Let's look at the leaders at the half way point

Batting Avg Gentlemen

.786 Lou
.722 Peter
.643 Dave

Batting Avg Ladies

.750 Kelly
.667 Natasha
.625 Aerial

RBIs Gentleman

Peter 10
Lou 9
Victor 7

RBIs Ladies

Aerial 8
Natasha 6
Roxy 6

Doubles

Lou 6
Aerial 2
Doug 2
Natalia 1
Rick 1
Dave 1
Peter 1
Dora 1
Roxy 1

Triples

Dave 2
Peter 1
Melody 1

Home Runs

Lou 3
Natasha 1
Peter 1
Victor 1
Roxy 1

THE TEAM will finish the season in F League and that sounds hot and sweaty.

GO THE TEAM!!!

A Week Off in the Summer

There was no game this week because of Father's Day.  That's nice.  There was a time when we would have Mother's Day off but to hell with Dad, get out there and play.  One of the things that is usually in the blog at the beginning of a season is the roster.  Some players were changing their numbers so it seemed like a good idea to wait until all that was settled.  It looks like this:

  3 Lou
  5 Kelly
  7 Natasha
  8 Aerial
10 Natalia
18 Rick
19 Doug
22 Dave
23 Melody
24 Peter
25 Dora
27 Victor
Sweatshirt Roxy.

You know how Doug takes all those Walks?  Well listen to this,  Melody is coming close to her 100th game but she already has 101 Walks.  She is in the 100 hit club also.  That 100 hit club is growing.  It looks like this:

100 Hits

Doug
Melody
Dora
Natasha

200 Hits

Peter
Rick

300 Hits

Lou

The train just keeps rolling

GO THE TEAM!!!

Sore Losers

THE TEAM got swept in a Doubleheader and was clearly pretty pissed about the whole thing.  "Sore Losers" might not sound flattering but there is no shame in playing hard and expecting to win.  The taste of victory is never stale.

THE TEAM absolutely requires it.

Kelly let her bat do the talking.  Kelly rarely lets her talking do the talking so her bat really let them have it.  She went 5 for 6 with 2 RBIs.  It was a blizzard of F-words and Yo Mama jokes.

From the bat

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 1 - Summer 2015

I Drink Your Milkshake!

Nothing like a tired assed reference from 2007 to illustrate how THE TEAM dominated the first game of the summer season.  THE TEAM got the shut out and beat Bobrick Coed 20-0.  Imagine that they were sanctimonious weenies so THE TEAM murdered them with a bowling pin.

It was like that.

THE TEAM shook off a little rust after a slow start.  It was 3-0, then it was still 3-0, then it was 5-0 and then THE TEAM got to the murder part.

Everybody had their hands on the bowling pin.  Eleven players played and eleven players had hits. Nine players had RBIs.  Lou hit a Home Run.  Peter hit a Home Run.  Natalia made a great catch on a foul ball.  She literally kicked the bucket making that play.

Roxy hit the second  Home Run of her short history with THE TEAM.

Natasha went full Daniel Plainview though.  She should have been wearing a hat and a mustache.  She not only pitched three shutout innings...  she not only went 3 for 3 and led THE TEAM with 5 RBIs...  but after 65 games... she hit her first Home Run.  It was a brutal 3 run shot.  Magnificent!

Sweet Victory!

THE TEAM is looking great and ready to bring Championship form to F League.  THE TEAM has a competition in it.  It wants no one else to succeed.

GO THE TEAM!!!

Best THE TEAM Ever

It's true.  There are several players that were part of that Fall 2012 Championship team.  Lou, Melody, Natasha, Doug, Peter, Dora and Kelly were all there the last time THE TEAM won it all.  Without minimizing the efforts of the rest that squad, you have to call Aerial, Maddie, Natalia, Victor, and Dave an upgrade.

The Winter 2015 group went through the first round undefeated and finished the season 8-2.  The new format meant that there were two post season games instead of one so it took ten total victories to get to the color t-shirts.

THE TEAM scored 50 runs in two post season games.

Pitches Be Crazy should have been called Pitches Be Absent.  They were a few players short but THE TEAM did what you are supposed to do and stomped to a 28-6 victory mercy rule style.

 Best THE TEAM ever.

GO THE TEAM!!!

Live by the Sword, Die by Your Crummy Pitching

There were a lot of walks and a lot of hits in this game.  Altogether THE TEAM had 55 plate appearances.  That's a lot of running around.  Peter did a lot of running around.  He hit for the cycle going 6 for 6 on the day with 5 RBIs.  Peter really needs a nickname.  Of course Peter is a fine name, (Peter Parker, Saint Peter etc.) but shouldn't we be calling him "Tech" or "Dr. Badass" or something?

Anyway

The game started with Hot Sunday hanging a couple runs in the top of the first.  Lou, Peter, and Doug hit Home Runs.  Natalia added an RBI and it was 8-2 THE TEAM.  After that Hot Sunday kept chipping away.  They took their walks (which must have been lots of fun), got some hits and took advantage of errors to eventually make a game out of it.

Hey you know who else may need to be called Dr. Technical Badass is Aerial.  She went 4 for 4 with a Walk and 4 RBIs.

Here are some other zesty numbers.  Ten players played.  Nine players had hits.  Ten players got on base.  Nine players got on base more than once.  Eight players had RBIs.  There were a total of 8 Walks and ZERO players struck out.

Nice Job!

In the end Doug took a Walk and Aerial came in to score the winning run in a 22-21 Victory.  It will be nice to get back to The Championship game but there was something anti-climactic about winning the game on a Walk.  It was certainly the right tactical move but it felt like the grandstand in the old Tom Slick cartoons.

                


GO THE TEAM!!!

The Regular Season of Winter of 2015

There is a lot to cover here.  First things first:  Victor hit a Grand Slam and the everybody else did a bunch of stuff to beat Comic Relief 17-13.  That means THE TEAM ties its best record ever going 8-2 on the season.  Another darling little detail to the season is that Comic Relief finished their season 8-2.  Their only two losses were to THE TEAM.

Moving on

Doug played in his 100th game.  He has hit .625 with 139 RBIs, 6 Home Runs, 45 Doubles and 8 Triples.  He has by far the most Walks among the fellas (43) giving him an OBP of .673.

Back to Winter 2015

On the season THE TEAM scored 150 and allowed 108.  THE TEAM hit .614 with 38 Doubles, 18 Triples, 19 Home Runs, 27 Walks and 16 Strikeouts.  Here is what you did...

1 Aerial played in 9 games.  She hit .500 with 5 RBIs and a Double.  She had 4 Walks giving her and OBP of .548.  Aerial is fast as hell and made some great plays in the outfield.

3 Lou played in 10 games.  He led THE TEAM batting .882.  He led THE TEAM with 30 RBIs.  He led THE TEAM with 8 Triples.  He led THE TEAM with 9 Home Runs.  He hit 7 Doubles.  What can you say

4 Victor played in 10 games.  This card carrying member of the Vulgaratti hit .613 with 22 RBIs.  He had 6 Doubles, 2 Triples and 5 Home Runs including the only walk-off Homer in the history of THE TEAM.

8 Maddie played in 6 games.  She hit .267 with an RBI and a Double.  She learned a lot and improved a lot and she ran a lot.

10 Melody played in 6 games.  She hit .385 with 3 RBIs.  She had 5 Walks giving her on OBP of .556.  She had stitches.  She fractured something.  She needs to take care of herself.

12 Natasha played in 8 games.  She hit .500 with 6 RBIs and a Double.  She is a great pitcher and perfectly balances competition and fun.

15 Natalia played in 9 games.  She hit .421 and tied for the leader among the ladies with 8 RBIs.  She had 4 Walks giving her an OBP of .522.  Natalia is nice.  Everybody likes her.

18 Rick 10 games .700 13 RBIs 1 Home Run 5 Doubles 2 Triples 2 Walks

19 Doug played in 10 games.  He hit .679 with 17 RBIs, 1 Home Run and 2 Triples.  He led THE TEAM with 8 Doubles.

24 Peter played in 10 games.  He hit .824 with 19 RBIs.  He hit 2 Home Runs,  2 Doubles and 4 Triples.  He had no Walks.  Peter is all business!

25 Dora played in 10 games.  She led the ladies hitting .625.  She tied Natalia among the ladies with 8 RBIs.  She also performed bat-girl duties.  She got the stains out of Melody's jersey.  Dora does it all.

30 Kelly played in 10 games.  She hit .360 with 5 RBIs and 2 Doubles.  Kelly was a very valuable infielder and did a great job playing first, second, and third.

38 Dave played in 10 games.  He has always been a great pitcher even during his time with The Flappers but this season Dave went bananas at the plate.  He hit his first Home Run.  He had 11 RBIs, 5 Doubles and a .731 Batting Average.  Good Morning!

Now THE TEAM moves on to the playoffs.  The fun never stops.

GO THE TEAM!!!

So That Happened

THE TEAM split a Doubleheader.  There was a lack of rhythm and people getting hurt all over the place.  Dave hit his first Home Run.  He was zooming around the bases with a giant smile on his face so that's fun.  Roxan hit a Home Run.  That puts her into an exclusive club with Aerial.

Hey

Another player hit his 100th game in the Modern Era.  It is Lou.  Wait until you hear these numbers!

Lou has hit .829 (306-369) with 262 RBIs.  He's got 84 Doubles, 44 Triples and 67 Home Runs.  He's also got 25 Walks.

OK

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 7 - Bound to Happen

The chances of having a perfect season were pretty slim.  That's no secret.  Still, that kind of collapse is hard to take.  THE TEAM was looking good just like the first 6 games of the season.  THE TEAM was looking good for the first 5 innings.  Then filled the diaper of defeat and...

Let's just skim over that catastrophe and move right on to Dora.

Dora played in her 100th game.  That's a lot of shots down the third base line and a lot of clever mall-walking around the bases.  Dora has had 161 hits for a .469 average.  She has 83 RBIs, 15 Doubles and a Triple.  She has only 7 Walks in 343 At Bats.  She is there to play.  Good job Dora.

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 6 - THE TEAM = Winners

THE TEAM just keeps on rolling.  Twelve players played and twelve players had hits.  THE TEAM is playing well but the nice thing is that THE TEAM is playing realistic softball and not some weird out of our minds run that will never last.  THE TEAM has never been 6-0.  Let's bust out the Chris Kiefer Heroin because it is officially another winning season for THE TEAM.

The sentence "Lou really wore out my daughter" would normally be followed by either murder or an appearance on Dateline NBC but this is softball so let's all calm down.  Maddie went 2 for 3 and both of those singles were followed by Santini Home Runs giving him 5 RBIs on the day.  Maddie was running for Melody and got to go first to home a third time after Peter drove in two on a triple.

Speaking of Peter.  The Modern Era for THE TEAM starts in Fall 2011.  The history goes back to Winter 2008 but there were some changes after the drama of the Summer 2011 season so the continuous stats only go back to Fall 2011.

Anyway

In the "Modern Era"  Peter played his 100th game.  Are you ready to admire some eye-popping numbers?  Peter has 271 hits in 366 at bats (.740).  He has 53 Doubles, 14 Triples, 47 Home Runs and 255 RBIs.  How about that!

Clearly Peter is a major reason why THE TEAM is 6-0 but it is really about how well everybody is playing together and how much everybody keeps improving.

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 5 - THE TEAM has seen it all

Swear Jar Millionaire and Major League Vulgarian Victor is always quick to demand that this blog be some kind of love letter to anything worthwhile that he does for THE TEAM.  This time he really earned it.  He really fuckin' earned it.  In the clutch.  Full Bambino shot.  THE TEAM wins 9-8.

It was tight game.  You have to give Comic Relief credit.  They turned two double plays and did a great job killing the rally.

It was scoreless after the first inning.  THE TEAM had two weird assed innings that were defensive collapses but kept it close.  Lou had 4 RBIs.  Kelly was awesome at third base.  Aerial made a great catch in center.  It was a snug back and forth game between two undefeated teams.

THE TEAM held Comic Relief scoreless in the top of the 6th to keep the 8-8 tie then came Victor and lights out.  In the 114 games THE TEAM has won, this is the first walk-off Home Run.

Sweet Victory!

Let's look at the leaders after the First Round

Batting Average Gentlemen

Lou .889
Peter .882
Rick .750

Batting Average Ladies

Dora .600
Aerial .588
Natasha .467

RBIs Gentlemen

Lou 16
Peter 13
Victor 12

RBIs Ladies

Natasha 5
Dora 4
Kelly 4

Doubles

Doug 6
Lou 5
Rick 4
Victor 3
Maddie 1
Natasha 1
Peter 1
Kelly 1
Dave 1

Triples

Lou 3
Peter 2
Rick 2
Victor 1

Home Runs

Lou 4
Victor 3
Peter 1
Doug 1

As you can see, everybody is contributing and nobody can beat THE TEAM.

GO THE TEAM!!!

Two Softball Games in One Afternoon

It's no secret that Doubleheaders are exhausting.  Even on an exquisite day like the one we had, there is nothing left in the tank once it is time for all those insincere high fives.

Sweeping a Doubleheader and making the playoffs certainly smooths out a lot of that dusty, sweaty, tired deal.

Lou and Victor hit Home Runs.

Kelly made a nice leaping catch at second.  She gets a sincere high five for that.

Melody took pictures.  When do we get to see those?

Dora nut tapped that incompetent umpire...  or did THE TEAM just dream that?

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 3 - Trying to Suck

    

If records were kept for sloppy defensive wins this one would be for the books.  There were errors and break downs in communication and dogshit throws and walks and all that.

It didn't matter though.

THE TEAM hit .692 and scored 23 runs.  Sloppy is inexpensive when THE TEAM hits like that.  It was another one of those proud moments with 12 players playing and 10 players having RBIs.  Peter went 4 for 4 with a Double, a Triple and 3 RBIs.  Dave went 3 for 3 with a Double and 3 RBIs.  Lou went wild going 3 for 4 with 2 Home Runs, a Double and 7 RBIs.  Victor the swear jar millionaire drove in 2 on a Triple.

The ladies were neck deep in bad assery.  Dora went 3 for 3 with an RBI.  Natasha went 2 for 3 with a Double and 2 RBIs.  Natalia went 2 for 2 with a walk and 2 RBIs.  Aerial went 4 for 4  with an RBI.

There were a couple of two out rallies that also need to be acknowledged.  Those really show that THE TEAM is through screwing around.

The Google image search was part of an effort to get a Weird Al joke in there but that went into the tank just like the Ivan Drago joke last week.

I Must Break You

GO THE TEAM!!!

Game 2 - What?

We could call it Game 1 since it is the first game of the season because of the rainout but that doesn't matter.  The important thing is that THE TEAM won 17-11.

Even though it is the same as last season, let's look at the roster anyway

1 Aerial
3 Lou
8 Maddie
10 Melody
12 Natasha
15 Natalia
18 Rick
19 Doug
24 Peter
25 Dora
27 Victor
30 Kelly
38 Dave

Lovely

Twelve of those players played in Game 2 or 1 or whatever.  All 12 had hits and 8 players had RBIs.  When everybody contributes THE TEAM is tough to beat.  There were Home Runs by Lou, Peter, Victor and Doug.  These were legitimate Homers too not some clumsy outfielder rolling around in the grass.  Doug had 5 RBIs.  Victor almost had 5 RBIs but got hosed up on a bad call.  Come on Blue!  Melody knows to tag up on a fly ball!

Dora went 3 for 4 with an RBI.  Natasha went 2 for 3 with 3 RBIs.  Maddie collected her first hit in a League Game.  Aerial ended it all with a great shoe string catch.

I was doing Google Image searches of Dolph Lundgren because there was going to be an Ivan Drago joke in there somewhere that didn't really come together.  They can't all be Home Runs

GO THE TEAM!!!