Tuesday, June 20, 2017

THE TEAM - Summer 2017

It took a while to finally get the roster set but all the details have been pounded out and sanded down to this showroom mint dream car that is THE TEAM.

 3 Lou
 4 Lauren
 5 Kelly
 7 Natasha
11 Dave Q.
12 Daniyel
18 Rick
22 Dave R.
23 Melody
24 Peter
25 Dora
33 Jimmy
51 Kelsey

We are already three games into the season and that group there hasn't lost one yet so that's exciting.  You know who has been tearing it up on defense so far is Dora.  She is catching foul balls.  She caught a rocket from left field to get a runner out at home.  She even threw a runner out at first base on a snap throw.

Peter has 4 Home Runs so far.  Lauren has stepped up become the Centerfielder.  Both Lauren and Kelly are hitting over .700 so far.  Lou has 3 Triples.

There is a lot of softball left but winning a 4th Championship just makes sense.

Oh and fun.  There should be some of that too


Monday, May 15, 2017

THE TEAM - The Cold Winter

Another rough season in the books.  That one took forever so it's only fair that this blog also took forever.

That's Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid.  You've seen that movie right?  Well sometimes THE TEAM was the Bolivian Army filling the bad guys with holes and sometimes THE TEAM was Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid getting filled with holes but still being very good looking.  

It wasn't all Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.  THE TEAM hit an above average .596.  The 143 runs was also a nice improvement over 2016.  The 7 Strikeouts were the lowest ever so so there's that.

Here is your deal

3 Lou played in 10 games.  He led THE TEAM hitting .781.  He drove in 21 runs, had 8 Doubles, 3 Triples and 2 Walks.  Check this out:  Lou hit 5 Home runs giving 100 for his career.  How about that.    
5 Kelly played in 8 games.  She tied for the lead among ladies hitting .600.  She had 9 RBIs, 5 Doubles and a Walk.  Those 5 Doubles are a career best.

7 Natasha played in 8 games.  She hit .577 with 7 RBIs, 3 Doubles a Triple and 2 Walks.  She also sang and danced and acted as well as she pitched.  Amazing

8 Aerial played in 0 games.  She hit 0 with 0 RBIs and 0 and 0.  THE TEAM really lost out when work swallowed her up.  We are talking about a career .568 hitter with 49 RBIs, 16 Doubles and 2 Home Runs in in 58 games.  She will be missed.

12 Daniyel played in 7 games.  She hit .211 with an RBI and 4 Walks.  Her season was better than that.  She started brutally slow but hit .500 over her last 3 games.  

18 Rick 9 games .680 12 RBIs 2 Home Runs 2 Doubles

22 Dave played in 8 games.  He hit .409 with 8 RBIs, 1 Home Run and 1 Walk.  That one walk was uphill both ways in the snow.

23 Melody played in 9 games.  She tied Kelly hitting .600 with 9 RBIs, 5 Doubles and 1 Triple.  Big Improvement

24 Peter did his Eagle Scout thing for 10 games.  He tied for the lead with 23 RBIs.  He led THE TEAM with 6 Home Runs.  There were 7 Doubles in there.  No Walks.  Peter also broke a lot of hearts at 3rd base.  We are talking defense people not makin' out at the Drive-In.
25 Dora played in 8 games.  She hit .464 with 7 RBIs, 3 Doubles and a Walk.  She led THE TEAM in Recycling

30 Lauren played in 8 games.  She hit .417 with 7 RBIs, 2 Doubles and 2 Walks.  She really became a Centerfielder this season.  

33 Jimmy played in 10 games.  He hit .706 with 16 RBIs, 3 Doubles, 1 Triple and 2 Home Runs.  He collected his 100th career hit this season.

27 Victor played in 9 games.  He hit .667 with 6 Doubles and 3 Home Runs.  He tied for the lead with 23 RBIs and led THE TEAM with 6 Triples.  Now Victor is leaving to go fight crime.  Victor.  That Victor.  It will be really quiet in the dugout now.  It was worth it because for 102 games THE TEAM had the equivalent of a bitchin' Camaro in Left Field.  He was an RBI machine.  For his career he hit 60 Doubles, 23 Triples and 35 Home Runs.  He had 195 career hits and 118 of them were for extra bases.  Here is the thing that is as eye popping as some of those Home Runs.  He had 218 RBIs in 102 games.  That's an RBI for every 5 f-words.  Good luck Victor.  Be fucking safe.


Monday, April 3, 2017

Game 6 - This

THE TEAM started F League scoring 21 runs, hitting a season high .762, and striking out zero times.  Strong!  Twelve players played.  Twelve players had hits, 10 players had RBIs.

Daniyel had a slow start to the Winter 2017 Season.  Then she started pulling her hands all the way through the zone and hitting began.  THE TEAM has an adorable little two game winning streak now and Daniyel is hitting .600 with an RBI in those wins.  

Of course everybody is contributing.  THE TEAM is The Ass of Badness.  That sounds like a Google Translation doesn't it?  If you have Google Translate Bad Ass into German you get Knallhart.


Who wants that nickname?

Just for kicks,Ass of Badness in German is Arsch der Schlechtigkeit.

I think we have Victor's nickname.

#27 Arsch der Schlechtigkeit

Maybe Arsch der Fucking Schlechtigkeit?


It was a great win.  THE TEAM can still win it all in F League so...


Saturday, April 1, 2017

The First Win + The First Round

THE TEAM finally got a slice of the victory pizza with all the toppings.  It was more like a thick slice of meat loaf with vegetables and mashed potatoes and salad and iced tea.

Or whatever

Dora made a meat loaf level play to catch a foul ball.  She almost did it twice.  Victor is swatting Dingers into orbit.

That's going to make F League so much fun.

Let's look at the leaders after the first round

Batting Avg Gentlemen

.833 Rick
.813 Lou
.750 Peter

Batting Avg Ladies

.583 Kelly
.500 Natasha
.429 Melody

RBIs Gentlemen

17 Victor
13 Lou
 8 Peter
 8 JImmy

RBIs Ladies

5 Kelly
5 Natasha
4 Melody
4 Dora


5 Lou
4 Peter
4 Melody
3 Kelly
3 Victor
2 Rick
1 Jimmy
1 Dora


3 Victor

Home Runs

3 Victor
3 Lou
1 Peter
1 Jimmy
1 Rick

The RAND Corporation says that the move down to F League means a championship is basically automatic.  Like a pulled pork sandwich with macaroni and cheese and garlic toast and...  and..  oh! Softball.  Yes! Softball.


Monday, March 20, 2017

Cold Winter

It took a while but the winter season finally got started.  It started for E League but hasn't started for THE TEAM just yet.

Let's look at the roster first:

 3 Lou
 5 Kelly
 7 Natasha
 8 Aerial
12 Daniyel
18 Rick
22 Dave
23 Melody
24 Peter
25 Dora
27 Victor
30 Lauren
33 Jimmy

So far THE TEAM has clanked out of every game this season.  Two losses were frustrating offerings that just didn't go right and the other two were puke on yourself Barbara Hoyt Drug Burger what the hell is going on losses.

THE TEAM scored 3 more runs than the total number of outfielders that NYFA Action had.

At least the teams have been good sports.  The losses always sting a little extra when THE TEAM plays aggressive shitheads.  You know those teams.  Ten players, twelve eyebrows.  You know.

Let's keep this thing constructive and zany!

Somewhere in there Jimmy made an over the shoulder catch that led to a double play.

Kelly made cupcakes and those were really good.

Natasha's hair looks nice.

Victor has hit some absolute bombs.

THE TEAM team still has good pitchers.

No matter what happens in the next game THE TEAM is going down to F League.  That is neither constructive nor zany.  That is hope.


Friday, January 6, 2017

The Regular Season

The service monkey that does the typing for this blog was being held at a CIA blacksite in Bangladesh.  He managed to escape and ran to a sweatshop making Jihad Joe action figures that were being shipped to Pakistan.  It is only by the kindness of the people of Agra India that our service monkey is back safe in the United States of America.

In the meantime a lot of softball was played.

It looked like after the Titanic disaster that was D League, E League was only going to be our Carpathia but it turns out there was a logjam of 3-2 teams in the second round and THE TEAM made the playoffs.

Before we get to what you did to get us there, let's take a quick peek at 2016.  It was a year of garbage.  Yeah David Bowie died and Prince died and Carrie Fisherdied and some self-centered orange fuckface won the Presidential Election but THE TEAM went 13-17 on the year.  THE TEAM was down in every offensive category and up in strikeouts.  Ouch.

Let's check you out

3 Lou played in 10 games.  He hit .774 with 2 Walks, 6 Doubles, 1 Triple, 3 Home Runs and 14 RBIs.  Did you know Lou is the all-time hits leader for THE TEAM with 436 hits.

5 Kelly played in 9 games.  She hit .483 with 2 Walks, 3 Doubles and 3 RBIs.  Did you know Kelly collected her 50th career RBI this season.

6 Rick played in 10 games.  The service monkey refuses to humiliate him by typing his stats.  Good Monkey!

7 Natasha played in 8 games. She hit .435 with 4 Doubles, a Triple and 12 RBIs.  Did you know in her career she has 111 RBIs in 102 games.

8 Aerial played in 10 games.  She led the ladies hitting .571 with 2 Walks, 3 Doubles, 1 Home Run and led the ladies with 14 RBIs.  It's great to have her back.

12 Daniyel played in 5 games.  She hit .200 with a Walk and a Double.  Did you know Daniyel has Walked 14 times in 22 career games giving her an OBP of .448?

22 Dave played in 10 games.  He hit .652 with a 3 Walks, a Double and 11 RBIs.  Did you know Dave collected his 100th career hit this season?

23 Melody played in 9 games.  She hit .250 with 4 Walks and 4 RBIs.  Did you know she has taken more careers Walks than any two players on THE TEAM?

24 Peter played in 10 games.  He hit .719 with 6 Doubles. 3 Triples and 13 RBIs.  Did you know Peter has played in 152 games in the Modern Era?  That's more than anybody.

25 Dora played in 9 games.  She hit .391 with 2 Walks and 8 RBIs.  Did you know Dora is one of only 5 players with over 200 career hits?

27 Victor played in 10 games.  He hit .769 with 4 Doubles. 3 Triples and 4 Walks.  He led THE TEAM with 5 Home Runs.  He led THE TEAM with 27 RBIs.  Did you know that Victor leads THE TEAM in being fertile?

30 Lauren played in 8 games.  She hit .409 with 7 RBIs.  Did you know Lauren loves microwave popcorn?  That may or may not be true.  Lauren just finished her first season with THE TEAM.  She is a spectacular athlete and a great addition.

33 Jimmy played in 10 games.  He has 7 Doubles, 2 Triples, a Walk and a Home Run.  Jimmy led THE TEAM hitting .867.  Did you know Jimmy led THE TEAM in getting hassled by Victor?

There were some milestones by THE TEAM.  THE TEAM passed 200 Home Runs, 500 Doubles and 2000 RBIs.

That's a lot of softball