Monday, September 29, 2014

Game 3 - Thin

THE TEAM recovered nicely from the bizzarro loss last week.  Overall THE TEAM is playing well.  There are no clustered errors.  Dave and Natasha are doing a fantastic job pitching.  Everybody is hitting.  In three games THE TEAM is hitting .640 with 11 Doubles, 6 Triples, 3 Home Runs, 8 Walks and only 3 Strikeouts.  The last couple of seasons have been rough so it's nice to get away from Kill Bill horseshit and back to Pulp Fiction.

A League of Their Own was spread thin with only 8 players in the field but in the past THE TEAM has found a way to still lose in that setup.  Sometimes it is distracting to see all that open space.

Not this time.

Eleven players played and eleven players had hits.  Eight players had RBIs.  Doug hit a 3 run Home Run.  Lou had 2 Triples and 2 RBIs.  Aerial went 4 for 4 with an RBI.  The game ended on a nice Double Play.  Peter stomped on third for one out and threw it to Kelly at first who had to leave the bag to make the catch but still managed to tag the runner.

Ball Game!

Right?  That's it right?  I want to leave off Victor's Grand Slam because he gets so tense if his caboose is not properly smooched.  There was a meeting with Roger Goodell and he thinks everything Victor does is fine.  Well OK then.

It was a genuine power shot into left so Victor gets a Sacramento RiverCats souvenir helmet full of nachos and steroids.

Natasha had a steroid-worthy game going 2 for 3 with an RBI.  She let her kindness and freakin' humanity get the best of her and coached up one of the players from the other team.  Kelly drove in two runs and did a great job at first base.  Let's give Kelly the steroids this week.  They are just straight steroids that Kelly herself can bake into exquisite cupcakes.  Save one for Jimmy.  He has been a big help even if he doesn't talk to anybody.

THE TEAM gets the third out and reaches for the bats and this lanky specter wearing #33 materializes in the coaching box.  He is like Bigfoot or something.

Well, it is working


Sunday, September 21, 2014

Game 2 - *

That was one weird-assed loss.  THE TEAM scored 8 in the first inning after holding Where My Pitches At to a plump zero.  It looked like THE TEAM took their foot off the gas after that.  THE TEAM avoided being weighed down by any more pesky runs for the next 4 innings.

Of course the runs kept piling up for the bad guys at it looked like the game was over but there was a weird-assed rally for 10 runs in the bottom of the 6th.

It was still a 20-18 weird-assed loss.

THE TEAM hit .605 with 3 Doubles, 1 Triple, 1 Home Run, 6 Walks and ZERO Strikeouts.  That's pretty nice but let's talk about that Home Run.

In 20 seasons THE TEAM has never had a lady hit a Home Run.  Aerial finally did it and she doesn't even have a nickname.  It was great hustle and all of Burbank was appropriately electrified.

Clearly the highlight of a weird-assed afternoon.


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Game 1 - Fresh from the Oven

After several last minute bailouts by several players, the roster is finally set for Fall 2014.  THE TEAM got younger and that's probably a good thing.

1 Aerial
3 Lou
8 Maddie
10 Melody
12 Natasha
15 Natalia
18 Rick
19 Doug
24 Peter
25 Dora
27 Victor
30 Kelly
38 Dave

Each name on that roster is a stone cold assassin.  Each name on that roster also dropped 10 pounds of water weight in game 1 because it was hot as hell.

It's hard to imagine that games were being played at 1:00 and 2:15 in that weather.  How was there not a trail of dehydrated softball players leading out to the parking lot?  Just hop over that carcass that's left over from the B League Doubleheaders.


THE TEAM looked sharp hitting .667.  There were a couple of errors but no real disasters so THE TEAM beats Hot Sunday 19-13.  It's been a year since THE TEAM won a season opener.

A dog bowl full of steroids goes to Lou who went 4 for 4 with 2 Doubles, a Triple and 5 RBIs.

A champagne flute full steroids could go to Natalia who went 2 for 3 with and RBI, or Kelly who went 2 for 3 with an RBI, but it goes to Aerial who 3 for 3 with an RBI.  That was close