Sunday, September 29, 2013

Game 4 and 5 - The Mystery Guests

I don't know what kind of kryptonite The Dancing Homers are dealing in but they must look at the standings and wonder how THE TEAM wins any games at all.  Let's give credit where credit is due, they are a good team.  They throw strikes and they hit a lot of clean line drives.  None of that should mean that THE TEAM hits .455 with 2 Doubles and 2 Strikeouts...   and two stinkin' runs.  How on earth!  Still it was nice to see # 13 Sandy back in action hitting a single and bring all that hustle to the proceedings.

The second game started off tough and ended up weird.  THE TEAM got a face full of sunshine and went down in order in the first inning.  Comic Relief did the same thing.  Eventually the sun got the hell out of there and everybody started hitting.  Lou had 2 Doubles, a Triple and a Home Run for 6 RBIs.  Natasha had a Double a Triple and an RBI.  Victor smashed another Home Run and made a Hepatitis C joke that he was as pleased with as he was with his 5 RBIs.

THE TEAM gained a new player.  Sharon made a splash right away with some good hitting being all athletic and so forth.

Jenny finally made her Fall debut with THE TEAM and it was worth the wait.  She went 4 for 4 with 3 RBIs.  ( A run scored on her one out so THE TEAM counts that as a sacrifice ).  In fact her debut was strong enough that she gets all the old office furniture out of Lane Kiffin's office at USC.  Good to see you Jenny

Lou has a shelf full of steroids so Victor wins the Obamacare enrollment package ( Due October 1st) for his great game.  Maybe it can help with the Hepatitis thing he was howling about.

Although maybe Jenny should get the enrollment package because that clumsy ape tried to throw her out at first from left field.  That looked like bad news.  It also looked like the only way they were going to stop Jenny.  At least the umpire addressed the preposterous choice he made.  I don't know what was said but everybody was pretty grouchy by the time it was over.  When the other bozo was crying about being called out at third and blue reversed his call then weird became official.  Of course THE TEAM winning 22 - 10 means he can boo hoo all he wants. 

Sweet Victory


Sunday, September 22, 2013

Game 2 - To the Rescue

Kelly showed up with a bag of McDonalds but she had to eat it cold because Melody ended up doing the Santini butt-muscle hustle and had to come out of the game.  Lucky for THE TEAM Kelly was there to help keep the Honey Badgers from giving a s**t.

These were not the Honey Badgers from a couple of seasons ago.  They were some other group of gunners who ended up changing their name at the last minute.  One of them said that they already had the shirts so that was why the Honey Badgers were wearing forest green baseball sleeves.   No name or numbers on their gear but they didn't want to replace the shirts.  Baseball sleeves cost what $5? 

Well that's none of our business but sleeves or no sleeves THE TEAM handed it to them 14-7. 

THE TEAM batted .652 and took 7 walks.  That's a lot of free bases and the patience paid off.  Lou had a Home Run and a Triple but Peter gets to eat the cobra going 3 for 3 with 2 RBIs and a upper deck shot if Olive # 4 was an upper deck.

Summer gets to eat larvae directly out of the beehive after going 2 for 3 with 2 RBIs.

Instead of just going with steroids to acknowledge outstanding effort I thought I would try to reference the name of whoever THE TEAM is playing.  That already looks like a bad idea.  It also meant watching that Honey Badger video on YouTube.



Sunday, September 15, 2013

Game 1 - Who The F**k Are These People

THE TEAM did a supreme job sandbagging the second practice game.  That 10-8 win made it look like we were pretty evenly matched with A League of Their Own.  (Didn't that movie come out in 1992?)  Well the ancient skeleton of Geena Davis was not there to help them and the results were brutal this time.

THE TEAM held them to 1 run.  In slow pitch softball you have to be playing some pretty snug defense to hold anybody to 1 run.  The official score was 17-1 but there were actually a couple of more runs after they kept playing with the mercy rule in effect.  Let's be honest though, those people could not hit worth a hoot.

THE TEAM sure could hit though.  THE TEAM batted .641 with 1 Home Run 3 Doubles 1 Triple and 1 Walk.  That's a pretty good day.

A train ride with Jon Lovitz goes to Natasha who went 3 for 5 with 3 RBIs.

Victor went 3 for 3 with a Double a Triple and 3 RBIs but it Lou gets to get drunk with Tom Hanks because of his Home Run and 5 RBIs.


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Fall 2013

THE TEAM has seen The Flappers many times through the years and the carnage has been anywhere from “handing them their asses” to “opening a can”.  This practice game was no exception but that’s not the good news.

The good news is THE TEAM looked sharp after four weeks off.  There were no gnarly errors so that’s good.  There were no strikeouts which is great.  There were no swings and misses.  Think about that.  Let’s not even bring up Lou’s Home Run and Victor’s upper deck shot ( If there were an upper deck).

THE TEAM looks ready to go!!!