Sunday, August 7, 2016

THE TEAM - Summer 2016

Have you heard of the theory of parallel universes?  It's a wild idea that speaks to how huge outer space is.  It sounds like some metaphysical alley where you go and correct all the horseshit mistakes of your rotten life but no.  Bad news.  That's not it at all.  The idea is that universe is so huge and unknown that everything you can imagine is happening out there somewhere.  The idea is that somewhere there is a sun that just happens to be exactly like ours and it just happens to have 9 planets (They have decided that Pluto is still qualifies).  Everything on this other earth is exactly the same except they never changed their tune on Pluto.  That's one example.

It's an insane idea but a compelling way to wrap your mind around how vast the cosmos are.  It's also compelling because it is impossible to disprove.

You cannot prove that there is not a duplicate earth out there revolving around a duplicate sun and everything the happened in the Summer 2016 season happened exactly the same way except that Peter had a mustache.

Hopefully there is a parallel Burbank out there where THE TEAM had a winning season and everybody stayed healthy and had all the fun the universe has to offer.

There should also be a parallel universe where Dora leaves THE TEAM to go on tour with the reunited Guns 'N' Roses because somebody was going to have to take Izzy's place.  Rock on Dora!


Overall it was kind of a turd of a season.  THE TEAM did make the playoffs but clanked out of that by hitting .357 and only scoring 5 runs.  But enough gloom and doom.  The Fall Season will be here before you know it.  Summer is not over but the Summer season is.

Here is what you did:

3 Lou led THE TEAM in everything.  He played in 10 games hitting .868 and set the record with 35 RBIs.  He also had 8 Doubles, 3 Triples and 7 Home Runs.  He only had one Walk so that is the one spot where he didn't lead THE TEAM but he made up for it by helping the umpires see which pitches were hittable.

5 Kelly played in 10 games.  She hit .410 with 3 RBIs and a Double.  She had to move from second base to first base and did a great job there.

7 Natasha played in 8 games before her jerk of a doctor told her not to play.  She led the ladies hitting .571 and had 14 RBIs.  She also had a Double and hit the second Home Run of her career.  It would be sloppy to not mention how valuable her pitching is to THE TEAM.

12 Daniyel played in 7 games.  She hit .308 with an RBI.  She had 7 Walks giving her an OBP of .550.  Good job Daniyel

18 Rick 1 game .500 1 RBI 1 Double lots of moping

22 Dave played in 4 games.  He hit .417 with 2 RBIs and a Double.  He has always been a valuable pitcher and THE TEAM needed him more than ever once the wheels came off of Natasha

23 Melody played in 9 games.  She hit .500 with 8 RBIs and a Double.  Melody had a rough Winter Season so it's nice to see her playing like Melody again.

24 Peter played in 10 games.  He hit .794 with 22 RBIs, 6 Doubles, a Triple and 2 Home Runs.  He was a Gold Glove at Third Base and the most trusted man in Burbank now that Garry Marshall is out of the way.

25 Dora played in 10 games.  She hit .433 with 4 RBIs and 2 Doubles.  She keeps getting better at getting foul tips and showed everybody she can play second base too.

27 Victor played in 8 games.  He hit .600 with 17 RBIs, 4 Doubles, 2 Triples and 2 Home Runs.  He covered it all in Left Field and hit the ball farther than anybody anywhere.

33 Jimmy played in 10 games.  He hit .625 with 8 RBIs, 3 Doubles and a Triple.  He played everywhere.  Jimmy can do it all.

38 Kara only played in 1 game.  She hit .000.  She was nice though.  I hope she had $49 worth of fun.

57 Rosemary played in 6 games.  She hit .176 with an RBI.  Rosemary was way too hard on herself.  I hope she had $49 worth of fun too.

Subs really helped out too.

8 Aerial was back for 2 games and hit .500 with an RBI

19 Doug helped out for the Doubleheader and went 5 for 5 getting the 200th hit of his career.

21 TK played in 7 games hitting .350 with 7 RBIs.

Good job!  Thanks for your help.

Overall THE TEAM hit .556 with 28 Doubles, 7 Triples, 22 Walks and 15 Strikeouts.  THE TEAM also hit 12 Home Runs giving them 200 in the Modern Era.  Check this out:  Of the 200 Home Runs hit by THE TEAM, 150 of them have been by either Lou or Peter.  Where would THE TEAM be without them?

Lucky for this slice of the universe they are back for the Fall Season which will be here soon enough.



Lou said...

"$49 worth of fun." Holy shit that's funny. I'm going to make a concentrated effort to work on my defense, set my feet more before I throw...I had a lot of great plays, but I had a lot of routine throws that I overthrew Kelly Kelly Kelly...and I MAY try not to coach the umpires on what's hittable...they just need so much help! Hats off to Dave for pitching great, especially in the playoff game, and Kelly Kelly Kelly for being rock solid as a first baseperson, baker, and human.

Melody said...

Thanks for the great blog. I have a hard time functioning without it.